Kelly Thordsen: Colorado Charlie

Quotes 

• Colorado Charlie : You savvy this won't be no picnic for Pahoo. What I mean is feelings run high. There's too many greenhorns that figure the only good Indian is a dead one.

  Yancy Derringer : It's up to you and I to civilize 'em.

• Train Conductor : This redskin with you?

  Yancy Derringer : This gentleman is traveling with us, yes.

  Train Conductor : Not on this train, mister. Not first class. We don't carry no hair-raising aborigines with decent folks. He rides in the baggage car with the other animals or he gets thrown off. Those are the rules.

  Colorado Charlie : Well now, friend, I gotta couple of rules of my own. One of 'em is a white man with a big fat mouth gets offered the back of my fist!

  Yancy Derringer : Charlie! No.

  Colorado Charlie : Aw, Yancy, he's got one comin'.

  Yancy Derringer : No.

  Colorado Charlie : Just a little one.

  Yancy Derringer : No.

  Colorado Charlie : Not a tooth-breaker.

  Yancy Derringer : We're on a peace mission, remember?

• [Yancy, Pahoo and Charlie are eating chicken among the poultry cases in the baggage compartment] 

  Colorado Charlie : What's so humorous, Yance?

  Yancy Derringer : I was just thinking of the look on John Colton's face if he could see us associating with these high dignitaries.

  Colorado Charlie : That's more than he can say. At least we're among friends.

  Yancy Derringer : That's more than the chickens can say.

• [Yancy and friends are thrown out of the hotel after Derringer decks a man for making rude remarks to Pahoo] 

  Agatha Colton : It's outrageous! Simply outrageous!

  Colorado Charlie : It is, ma'am. So far, Yancy has hogged all the fightin' for himself.

• Yancy Derringer : Well now, old horse, what do we do? Pitch a tent on the White House lawn?

  Colorado Charlie : Naw, in civilization there's always one place that's tolerant to aborigines like us. C'mon, I'll show you.

  [scene dissolves to a livery stable] 

• Colorado Charlie : Say, Yance, that fellow you chopped down back there - his name is Dingo, Jack Dingo. I've seen him before.

  Yancy Derringer : Where?

  Colorado Charlie : Out in Injun territory. You want to buy trouble? He sells it... ammunition, guns, whiskey. Now I wonder what a fellow like that is doin' here in Washington?

• Alvin Watson : Doesn't he talk?

  [Pahoo makes sign language] 

  Alvin Watson : What did he say?

  Colorado Charlie : He says there ain't no point makin' talk if nobody's gonna listen.

• Colorado Charlie : [to Yancy]  Boy, they're tryin' to ambush you - can't you read the sign? All they got to do is make Pahoo the laughing stock and Watson will prove that Table Creek Treaty ain't worth nothin' but bullets.

• [last lines] 

  John Colton : What are you doing here?

  Agatha Colton : I was going to send my regards, but then Yancy persuaded me to bring them along in person.

  John Colton : Yancy? You mean you traveled all the way from Washington with him without a chaperone?

  Colorado Charlie : Well, now Pahoo was there - and I was there with him.

  John Colton : Yancy, you're going to answer to me for this!

  Yancy Derringer : Charlie, I'm afraid I'll have to agree with you. I really don't understand how such a beautiful sister could have such a homely brother.

  Colorado Charlie : Yeah! Yeah!