Wings (TV Series)

The Customer's Usually Right (1992)

Tony Shalhoub: Antonio Scarpacci

Quotes 

• Antonio Scarpacci : [after his cousin catches the mumps, Antonio is invited to Roy's place]  I suppose I could go to my cousin Giacomo's and risk catching a contagious disease.

  [Weighing the options] 

  Antonio Scarpacci : Big swollen glands, Roy's house. Possible sterility... Roy's house.

  Roy Biggins : C'mon, c'mon.

  Antonio Scarpacci : Please, I just need a moment.

• Antonio Scarpacci : Buon Natale, everybody.

  Helen Chapel : Merry Christmas, Antonio. Where you off to?

  Antonio Scarpacci : To Boston, to share a Christmas Eve dinner with my cousin Giacomo.

  Helen Chapel : Oh, that sounds lovely.

  Antonio Scarpacci : Oh yes. It will be just like when we were boys in Italy. First, we decorate the tree, then Giacomo puts the baby Jesus in his grotto below.

  Helen Chapel : Right.

  Antonio Scarpacci : Then for dinner, I will carve the traditional Christmas eel.

  Helen Chapel : Whoa, whoa, whoa, back up a second. Christmas eel?

  Antonio Scarpacci : Yes. When I was a child, we would buy the eel months before, and keep him in the tub. Then we would feed him and nurture him and love him. There is nothing quite so special as the relationship between a boy and his eel.

  Helen Chapel : Silly me, I just had a Barbie doll.