Nikki Cox: Tiffany Malloy

Quotes 

• Tiffany Malloy : Ryan, you're never gonna find him a home. When a dog is tossed out of a moving Mercedes, it's a *pretty* good sign that he's about as unwanted as another Cher comeback. You know, she looks like a lab experiment, but she can still rock.

• Mr. Gutman : [bank offiicial people confuse with Kevin Costner]  We're very interested in you, Miss Malloy. You're a straight-A student and a woman of virtue as well.

  Tiffany Malloy : Oh, go on...!

  [waves him off] 

  Mr. Gutman : I'm sorry I'm embarrassing you.

  Tiffany Malloy : No, I mean get on with it. You're boring me. Like you did in The Postman.

• Ryan Malloy : Oh, Tiff, you're gonna be famous! As famous as old Toby here.

  Tiffany Malloy : Yeah, maybe I can get tossed out of a Mercedes one day.

  Barbara Caufield : Been there, done that.

• Ryan Malloy : You know, it should be great watching Barbara on television. Everybody wins! She'll be rich and famous, and you'll always know that that should have been you.

  Tiffany Malloy : [to the camera]  Integrity gets thorny, kids!

• Tiffany Malloy : Daddy! Daddy, you are gonna be so proud of me.

  Jack Malloy : Oh, I'm always proud of you, sweetheart. It's your brothers that disturb me.

  [looks over at Ryan playing with the dog on the couch] 

• Tiffany Malloy : Remember when I was a little girl and you got turned down for that loan?

  Jack Malloy : Remember it? You mean the time I went for that bank loan so that I could invest in that little company called, oh, what was it? Something like... Oh, yeah, Microsoft. Yeah, for two thousand dollars, I would have owned twenty-five percent of the company. Yeah, I remember that now.

  Ryan Malloy : Dad, you're such a big loser, you probably would have brought the whole company down.

  Jack Malloy : For your information, I wasn't a loser *till then.* By now, we'd be so rich I'd get *you* into Harvard.

  Ryan Malloy : Well, that's rich, Dad, 'cause I'm dumber than a Kennedy!

  Tiffany Malloy : Well, today that same banker asked me to be their spokesperson, but because of the way they treated you, I'm gonna turn 'em down. Aren't you proud?

  Jack Malloy : [chuckles]  Yeah! Was it Gutman?

  Tiffany Malloy : [voice low]  It was Gutman.

  Jack Malloy : [laughs happily]  I can finally cross one name off my list of people I'm gonna get before I die.

  [has book handy] 

  Jack Malloy : Now, here we go. G, G... Here it is. John Goodman, Jenny Garafalo, Bee Gees... Here, J. Casper Gutman!

  [thumps book victoriously] 

• Jack Malloy : I've been thinking, and, you know, I don't think it's fair that... just because of my past you should lose the opportunity of becoming a highly-paid TV shill.

  Tiffany Malloy : I know, Daddy, I just feel like I'd be selling out.

  Jack Malloy : Nobody's exactly selling out anymore, honey. I mean, some of our finest mediocre washed-up stars are doing commercials. Cybill Shepherd, Aerosmith, why, even social satirist and former angry man Dennis Miller is nothing but a trained parrot for corporate America.

  Tiffany Malloy : You know what? I'm gonna call him right now.

  Jack Malloy : Good.