Geoff Pierson: Jack Malloy

Quotes 

• Jennie Malloy : [back from shopping]  Don't look at me! Don't talk to me! Don't tell me about your crummy day at work or school! I've got my tabloids so hot off the presses, Burt Reynolds' wig is still a-smokin'.

  Ross Malloy : Mom, how about some dinner?

  Jennie Malloy : Oh, no, thanks, honey, I ate before I came home. Ah, "Fans to O.J.: Please Kill Me, Dada!"... "The Untold Tragedy of Ted Danson's New Show"... Hmm, "TV Funny Man Herbie Stern erg Dating Teenage Vixen", page three... Well, let's just see what the little trollop looks like...

  [turns to page three, then exclaims:] 

  Jennie Malloy : The little trollop is our daughter!

  Jack Malloy : Tiffany?

  Jennie Malloy : No, Jack, the one we sold to the gypsies!

  [then enthuses happily:] 

  Jennie Malloy : It's like a dream come true! Tiffany is dating a star! Tiffany is dating a star!