Unhappily Ever After (TV Series)
Pilot (1995)
Geoff Pierson: Jack Malloy
Photos
Quotes
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Mr. Floppy : [his first words] Jack, you're a loser.
Jack Malloy : Huh?
Mr. Floppy : I said a loser. What part of that didn't you understand?
[long pause]
Jack Malloy : So, you're talking, Mr. Floppy?
[Mr. Floppy nods]
Jack Malloy : Gee, it didn't take me long to lose my mind. Now, did it?
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Ryan Malloy : Hey, Dad. Where you been?
Jack Malloy : Your Mom kicked me out two weeks ago.
Ryan Malloy : No kidding? Oh well, see ya.
[going off without a care]
Tiffany Malloy : Hi, Dad.
Jack Malloy : Hi, baby. Uh, you knew I was gone, did you?
Tiffany Malloy : Daddy, I'm so self-absorbed I didn't even know you were here now.
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Jack Malloy : [re Jennie not returning his leather jacket] If I took something of yours, I'd give it back.
Jennie Malloy : What about my virginity?
Jack Malloy : Check with somebody else, baby.
-
Mr. Floppy : God, you're one deluded schizophrenic! You want some advice? Run! Change your name, move to the Ozarks, sell used sheep, have a daughter and marry her. The important part is: Run!
[nods sagely]
Jack Malloy : I never ran from anything in my life. Except for cops and really big guys. But never from responsibility. Except that girl who thought she was pregnant. I wonder whatever happened to her?
[smiles]
Jack Malloy : Anyway, I'm not running now! I'm gonna stay here and take care of my wife and kids.
Mr. Floppy : Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah! Save your cheap sentiments for Full House! Your wife's a shrew, and if you think your kids love you... They don't! Believe me, I was there.
Jack Malloy : You know, there's a nice big can down by the bus stop. It says "Toys for Honduras." How'd you like to wake up there?
Mr. Floppy : Do it if you've got the guts!
[growls menacingly]
Jack Malloy : [sighs] Yeah, maybe this divorce was my fault. I can't even get along with a stuffed bunny.