Unhappily Ever After (TV Series)

Pilot (1995)

Nikki Cox: Tiffany Malloy

Photos 

Quotes 

• Tiffany Malloy : [at the top of the stairs, long, loose red hair, short skirt, long boots]  Hey, Ryan, I have something for ya.

  [coming down, carrying a glass of water, approaching Ryan] 

  Tiffany Malloy : Turn around.

  [he does so, and she throws the glass of water over his butt] 

  Tiffany Malloy : You like that?

  [he just grins at her] 

  Tiffany Malloy : That's how it feels when somebody leaves the toilet seat up and you fall in.

  [still he just stands grinning] 

  Jennie Malloy : Oh, now, c'mon kids, you know the rules. Shut up until you go to sleep.

• Ryan Malloy : Hey, Dad. Where you been?

  Jack Malloy : Your Mom kicked me out two weeks ago.

  Ryan Malloy : No kidding? Oh well, see ya.

  [going off without a care] 

  Tiffany Malloy : Hi, Dad.

  Jack Malloy : Hi, baby. Uh, you knew I was gone, did you?

  Tiffany Malloy : Daddy, I'm so self-absorbed I didn't even know you were here now.

• Amber Moss : [in the school cafeteria, Tiffany likes the boy]  Oh, he's cute.

  Tiffany Malloy : Yeah.

  [dressed to kill, giggles] 

  Amber Moss : Well, go ahead, you should give him a tumble. Sex is cool, all the kids are doing it.

  Tiffany Malloy : Well, not me. I'm not caving in to peer pressure. I choose to save my virginity for some wrinkly old wheeze-bag with a ton of money and a month to live. I'm not giving it away. There's going to be a major entry fee.

  Amber Moss : Then why bother dressing like that?

  Tiffany Malloy : Cos I love the power.

• Tiffany Malloy : [to unsympathetic Ross and Ryan]  Don't be so unfeeling! Our Daddy is hurting. He needs our support.

  [in her bag, cellphone rings, she takes it out, answers] 

  Tiffany Malloy : Oh, hi, Amber... Oh, I'm at my Dad's place... Well, you wouldn't want to sit on the toilet here.