Geoff Pierson: Jack Malloy

Quotes 

• Tiffany Malloy : Daddy...

  [coming down the stairs to his basement dwelling] 

  Tiffany Malloy : Daddy...

  [long legs climbing down] 

  Tiffany Malloy : Daddy... I'm going to the Halloween dance as Jessica Rabbit, and I need a Roger Rabbit, so can I borrow the bunny?

  [completely ignoring that Jack is preparing a noose for himself] 

  Jack Malloy : Uh...

  [throws off the noose] 

  Jack Malloy : Look, I'll tell you what, honey... uhm, why don't you let me have a chance to talk to him about it, and just wait for me in the bathroom, okay?

  Tiffany Malloy : [humoring him]  Okay, Daddy, you talk to him, and you let me know what he says, okay?

• Tiffany Malloy : [emerging from Jack's bathroom]  Daddy... Daddy... is it okay to come out now, there's not much room in there, what with all your beer and guns?

  Jack Malloy : Tiffany, I've decided, uh, you can take him with you to the dance, but just have him home by eleven, cause he gets real mad if he misses Sports Center.

  Tiffany Malloy : [humoring him]  I know how it is. My Barbie gets really tiffed if she misses House of Style. We should introduce them.

  Jack Malloy : Oh, they've met.

  [Mr. Floppy gleefully reminisces happy memories] 

• Jennie Malloy : [she and Jack both covered with streams of toilet paper and assorted mess]  We've been attacked by every single kid in the neighborhood. Well, I'm fighting back. I'm telling ya, the next kid that rings that bell...

  [doorbell chimes, they arm themselves, she grabs a candle holder, and Jack is poised menacingly with a baseball bat as he opens door] 

  Little Girl : [fairy princess costume, with star-shaped magic wand]  Trick or treat!

  Jennie Malloy : [cagey]  What does she have in her hands? What does she have in her hands? It's a plastic - - Put down that clamp!

  Little Girl : Eek!

  [runs off frightened] 

  Jack Malloy : [picks up the offending article the little girl dropped, laughs sheepishly]  It's just a magic wand.

  [it squirts a stream of liquid] 

  Jennie Malloy : [as Jack covers his eyes]  Pepper spray!

  Little Girl : [coming back to gloat]  Thanks a lot, you psychos!