Unhappily Ever After (TV Series)
Halloween XXVII (1996)
Ant: Barry
Quotes
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Madolyn : [near hysterical, hair in tatters] I fell asleep during study hall, and somebody cut my hair!
Barry : Oh my God! I can fix this!
[in his bag, all the necessary hair-styling accessories]
Tiffany Malloy : Every school should have a Barry.
Barry : [chuckling gaily] Oh, every school does.
Tiffany Malloy : You know, this is the third time this month a girl has had her hair brutally chopped off. Why can't he just kill people, like they do at other schools?
Barry : [gushing to victim as he holds up the mirror] Doesn't it look fabulous?
[dismayed girl runs off in shame]
-
Tiffany Malloy : [to a glum-looking group of girls] Did you hear? The Halloween Hair Hacker is still on the loose.
[on closer inspection, they all have very bad haircuts]
Tiffany Malloy : Sorry.
[tiptoes away]
Amber Moss : Forget about the Halloween Hair Hacker. There's gonna be an eclipse in a few minutes.
[everything goes dark, screams ring out, and when visibility returns, Amber is shielding her hair with a textbook and Tiffany is still swinging her handbag defensively over her crowning glory]
Sable O'Brien : [Ryan is clutching her] Get off me!
Ryan Malloy : [stroking her long blond hair] But I'm protecting you! Yet, it's odd, it feels so... so safe and warm.
[he is sitting on her lap, and she dumps him contemptuously onto the floor]
Tiffany Malloy : Calm down, everybody, it was just the eclipse. Thank God it wasn't the maniac!
Michelle : [comes running in] Aah! Look what happened!
[her hair has been slashed off]
Barry : [comes running in] The cutter struck again! I'll fix it!
[ushers the latest victim away]
Amber Moss : [meekly] Who could be doing such a horrible thing?
Tiffany Malloy : Oh my God. The Hair Hacker's got everyone but us. We're the only girls left with long hair.
Sable O'Brien : Why's everyone looking at us?
Tiffany Malloy : I guess somebody's gotta say it. The Halloween Hair Hacker must be one of us.
Ryan Malloy : Yup. You're the only three that make any sense.
[weird janitor behind him is pruning a mop with garden shears]