Two and a Half Men (TV Series)
Just Like Buffalo (2004)
Charlie Sheen: Charlie Harper
Quotes
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Charlie Harper : She still busting your chops about what Jake said? Look, blame it on me. Tell her I'm sorry.
Alan Harper : She won't buy it.
Charlie Harper : Sure she will. Women are suckers for a good apology. Just keep shoveling it on 'til roses start growing in it.
Alan Harper : Poor Satan. He'll come for your soul and he'll leave empty-handed.
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Jake Harper : I heard Mom say that the reason Uncle Charlie gets in so much trouble is that he thinks with his little head. It's not that little.
Charlie Harper : Okay. You tell your mother...
Alan Harper : Charlie!
Charlie Harper : [changing his tune] ... that women are to be honored and respected.
Alan Harper : See, Jake. That's the big head talking.
Jake Harper : [getting a little impatient] But he only has one head!
Charlie Harper : You wanna tell him, or should we let him spin for awhile?
Alan Harper : I'd rather he spin.
Jake Harper : Aw, come on! At least give me a clue!
Alan Harper : All right. What do men have that women don't?
Jake Harper : Beards?
Charlie Harper : Lower.
Jake Harper : [in a deeper voice] Beards?
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Charlie Harper : There's no pancakes, Rose.
Alan Harper : Because Jake's not here.
Berta : 'Cause Charlie's an idiot.
Rose : Oh, why? I mean, why is Jake not here? Not why is Charlie an idiot.
Alan Harper : Because we *know* that.
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Charlie Harper : Man, Jake's gonna love this video game! Listen to this: 16 levels of ultra-realistic murder and mayhem, 24 flesh-ripping weapons, *plus* fortuitous nudity!
Alan Harper : Let me see that. "Scooter's Magic Tree Fort"?
Charlie Harper : Scooter's a *zombie*.