The Twilight Zone (TV Series)

A Kind of a Stopwatch (1963)

Richard Erdman: McNulty

Photos 

Quotes 

• McNulty : [early draft; later revised]  Say, uhm... You wouldn't be interested in having dinner, would ya?

  Secretary : If the world as we know it was about to end, if you were its most prominent restauranteur, and if I weren't very happily married already, I *might* be. But it isn't, you aren't, and I am; so *drift*, McNulty.

• McNulty : Mr. Cooper?

  [enters his office where he is frozen, kissing his secretary, backs out] 

  McNulty : Excuse me.

• McNulty : Wouldn't you think that, after one whoe year of putting ideas in that suggestion box, I'd get noticed?

  Joe : Let me tell you something, McNulty: Getting noticed and getting liked are two different things.

  McNulty : Ah, what do you know?

  Joe : Nothing, McNulty. Not a thing.

  Daniel : [leaving]  Good night, Joe.

  Joe : Daniel, wait...! All I do know is that every night, of every week, of every month - except Election Day - you come in here and drive everybody out of their skulls by walking on your lower lip. You think about that now, will you? Would you think about that?

• McNulty : Joe, insult me!

• McNulty : Cutchie-cutchie-Cooper!

• McNulty : You wouldn't be interested in having dinner, would you?

  Secretary : If I was starving to death and you were the last man on Earth and it meant my survival, I might be. But I'm not, you're not, and it doesn't. So DRIFT, McNulty.

• Joe : Done for the night, McNulty? Everybody's gone, you happy? You bored ten people to death. You emptied my place like it had a smallpox sign out there. Do me a favor, will you, McNulty? Whenever you get the thirst, go to some other bar.

  [drops the beer glass he was holding] 

  McNulty : [presses the button of a stopwatch he was given by another man who left the bar]  I don't feel much like going home. I've seen the movie on the late show. I've even seen the movie on the late late show. Sometimes I even wished I was married. Do you ever get that feeling...

  [turns to see that Joe is frozen in place] 

  McNulty : Joe? Joe. Hey, why you standing that way? Joe? Hey, Joe, say something. You look like you were frozen. All I was doing was telling you how bored I was. And this crazy gleep gave me this watch, and I sat here and I pressed it.

  [presses the button again, and Joe starts moving normally] 

  Joe : And that's another thing, McNulty. You make me nervous. First, you come in here, you bore people to death, and then you make me nervous.

  McNulty : I make you nervous?

  Joe : You know, something, McNulty? You're the one guy that makes me wish they never repealed prohibition.

  [McNulty presses the watch button, and Joe freezes in place. McNulty walks up behind Joe] 

  McNulty : Something tells me this is a very unusual watch.

  [presses the button and Joe starts moving normally again] 

  Joe : And another thing, McNulty... McNulty?

  McNulty : I'm over here.

  [Joe looks in shock to see McNulty standing behind him. McNulty leaves the bar]