- Ed McMahon: [discussing the stock market crash] Some experts say we're in for a major recession.
- Elliot Ganway: We are in a recession right HERE.
- Ed McMahon: Well are you that, are you that gloomy?
- Elliot Ganway: This is a major recession, right here. Well I'm...
- [audience applauds]
- Elliot Ganway: I'm a smidgen more gloomy.
- Ed McMahon: Oh.
- Elliot Ganway: I think... Excuse me?
- Ed McMahon: I just said "oh".
- Elliot Ganway: Oh.
- [pause]
- Elliot Ganway: Where does it say that you say "oh"?
- Ed McMahon: [discussing the stock market crash] Some economists are predicting we're in for a worse...
- [struggling to keep from laughing]
- Ed McMahon: we're in for a worse depression than in 1929!
- Elliot Ganway: No, things won't be quite that rosy.
- Ed McMahon: They'll be worse? Worse than a depression?
- Elliot Ganway: Are you kidding? You'll pray for a depression. Things will be bad.
- Ed McMahon: Will people have enough to eat?
- Elliot Ganway: Yes, there will be plenty to eat: They're called "neighbors".
- [audience laughter]
- Ed McMahon: You feel that people will resort to cannibalism?
- Elliot Ganway: Resort? Cannibalism will be a treat. Only holidays. Things will be bad.
- Ed McMahon: [discussing the stock market crash] What did you do with your own savings?
- Elliot Ganway: I put every penny I had into my mattress.
- Ed McMahon: Now what good does that do?
- Elliot Ganway: It's a great incentive not to wet the bed.