The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson (TV Series)

David Letterman/Joe Piscopo/Cutting Crew (1987)

Ed McMahon: Self - Announcer

Quotes 

• Ed McMahon : [discussing the stock market crash]  Some experts say we're in for a major recession.

  Elliot Ganway : We are in a recession right HERE.

  Ed McMahon : Well are you that, are you that gloomy?

  Elliot Ganway : This is a major recession, right here. Well I'm...

  [audience applauds] 

  Elliot Ganway : I'm a smidgen more gloomy.

  Ed McMahon : Oh.

  Elliot Ganway : I think... Excuse me?

  Ed McMahon : I just said "oh".

  Elliot Ganway : Oh.

  [pause] 

  Elliot Ganway : Where does it say that you say "oh"?

• Ed McMahon : [discussing the stock market crash]  Some economists are predicting we're in for a worse...

  [struggling to keep from laughing] 

  Ed McMahon : we're in for a worse depression than in 1929!

  Elliot Ganway : No, things won't be quite that rosy.

  Ed McMahon : They'll be worse? Worse than a depression?

  Elliot Ganway : Are you kidding? You'll pray for a depression. Things will be bad.

  Ed McMahon : Will people have enough to eat?

  Elliot Ganway : Yes, there will be plenty to eat: They're called "neighbors".

  [audience laughter] 

  Ed McMahon : You feel that people will resort to cannibalism?

  Elliot Ganway : Resort? Cannibalism will be a treat. Only holidays. Things will be bad.

• Ed McMahon : [discussing the stock market crash]  What did you do with your own savings?

  Elliot Ganway : I put every penny I had into my mattress.

  Ed McMahon : Now what good does that do?

  Elliot Ganway : It's a great incentive not to wet the bed.