Three's Company (TV Series)
Jack the Ripper (1979)
John Ritter: Jack Tripper
Photos
Quotes
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Dr. Prescott : BARK! B, be somebody. A, act like somebody. R, react like somebody. K, collect your rewards!
Jack Tripper : Don't "collect" begin with a C?
Dr. Prescott : Yes, Tripper, but then that would spell "BARC".
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Lana Shields : [as Mr. Furley enters] Just the man who I wanted to see.
Ralph Furley : Well, feast your eyes, Lana, but try to control yourself in front of the children.
Lana Shields : [pays all of that no heed] I want my apartment repainted.
Ralph Furley : Well now, that's not up to me. I'll have to ask my brother, he's the owner, I'm just the manager.
Lana Shields : And I would also like shelves put up in my closet.
Ralph Furley : Ugh. Look, after that *last* job I did for you, my brother warned me about spending too much money. I'm liable to get fired here.
Lana Shields : And I'd like it all done by Friday.
[turns to leave]
Lana Shields : Bye-bye, girls.
Chrissy Snow , Janet Wood : Goodbye, Lana!
Ralph Furley : But, Lana, I...
[realizes she's left]
Ralph Furley : I'm not gonna do it!
Lana Shields : [pops back in] Make that Thursday!
[pops back out]
Ralph Furley : Thursday, right!
[as the door slams, he covers his face with his hands]
Ralph Furley : Why can't I learn to say no?
Chrissy Snow : You say no to Jack!
Ralph Furley : You're darn right I do! Where is he? He left this bill for some paint inside my mailbox.
Chrissy Snow : Oh, what color did you paint the inside of your mailbox?
Ralph Furley : I did not paint the inside of my mailbox.
Chrissy Snow : Oh, we'll be glad to lend you some of our paint we have left over from the kitchen cabinet.
Ralph Furley : [gives up on that, turns to Janet] Can I talk to you for a minute?
Janet Wood : [nods] Sure.
Ralph Furley : This was inside my mailbox.
Janet Wood : I hope it didn't get paint all over it.
Ralph Furley : There isn't any paint in my mailbox! I don't know what you're talking about!
Janet Wood : [front door opens] Oh, Jack! Jack, come here! Mr. Furley's got a problem!
Jack Tripper : I don't wanna hear any problems. I've got enough of my own.
Janet Wood : What's wrong?
Jack Tripper : Travis wants me to cook for a dinner party he's having for free!
Chrissy Snow : Why didn't you tell him you couldn't make it?
Jack Tripper : Oh, I tried, Chrissy, but he's one of those people who sound so positive. You know, he's a real authority figure, and that always wipes me out.
Ralph Furley : Sounds like my brother Bart, the big dictator!
Janet Wood : Poor Jack, you have got to learn how to say no!
Jack Tripper : Yeah, who teaches that?
Chrissy Snow : My mother. On my first date, she really showed me how to say no.
Jack Tripper : How?
Chrissy Snow : She went along with me.
Janet Wood : [to Jack] You know what? It sounds to me like you need Dr. Prescott.
Jack Tripper : Who's he?
Chrissy Snow : Oh, he's a psychologist. He's an expert on assertiveness training.
[nods]
Chrissy Snow : He wrote that book Yes Is A Four-Letter Word.
Jack Tripper : No, I don't think a book will help me.
Chrissy Snow : Well, if you don't agree with someone, you can just hit him over the head with it.
Jack Tripper : Chrissy...
Chrissy Snow : Especially if it's a heavy subject.
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Ralph Furley : I gotta be going, so would you please explain this bill for the paint?
[hands it over to Jack]
Chrissy Snow : Yeah, somebody painted the inside of his mailbox, and he wants us to pay for it!
Ralph Furley : [yells] Will you forget about my mailbox? Let's just say I found the bill for the paint under my door!
Chrissy Snow : Oh, what color did you paint under your door?
Ralph Furley : [exasperated] I didnt paint...! What are you even talking about?
[to Jack:]
Ralph Furley : I'm not paying for any paint you use in the kitchen!
Jack Tripper : Well, neither am I!
Ralph Furley : Oh, yes, you are!
Jack Tripper : Look, Mr. Furley, why can't we...
Ralph Furley : The answer is *no!*
[storms towards door, muttering to himself:]
Ralph Furley : Why can't I be that way with my brother and Lana?