- Fez: [Sees Caroline] Holy crap! It's Caroline!
- Randy Pearson: Who's Caroline?
- Steven Hyde: She went out with Fez. But, he broke up with her because she's crazy. Which is ironic, 'cause that's probably why she went out with him in the first place.
- Fez: Guys, I can't let her see me. Hide me!
- Randy Pearson: [Loudly] Where should we hide you, Fez?
- Caroline: [Turns around] Fez?
- Fez: Well played, you son of a bitch!
- Donna Pinciotti: Where are they, you pervert?
- Fez: Donna, you have to leave!
- Donna Pinciotti: I'm not going anywhere without my pictures!
- Fez: Shhhh! What pictures?
- Donna Pinciotti: The naked ones of me! The ones in the Barry White record you bought!
- Fez: Ah, crap!
- [Caroline screams]
- Caroline: [Comes into the living room with the naked pictures] What the hell are these? And what is she doing here?
- Donna Pinciotti: Will you give me those!
- Caroline: Fez, I thought you said you lived alone!
- Fez: I do! She's just visiting, I swear! There is no one else that lives here.
- Jackie Burkhart: [Coming out of her room] Screw this! You know, I'm not gonna sit locked up in my room with stale marshmallows! I live here, too!
- Fez: Oh, that's incredibly bad timing.
- Caroline: *Two* women?
- Fez: Okay. Caroline, I have to be honest with you. Juanita and Maria Jose are my maids.
- Caroline: Well, then. They can clean up your blood!
- [Pushes Jackie and Donna out of the way and tackles Fez]
- Fez: [Last lines] Okay. Here's how you make fruit salad. First, let me squeeze those melons.
- Jackie Burkhart: [the Landlord is eavesdropping on Fez and Jackie] Oh, aren't they nice and firm?
- Fez: Yes. Now grab my banana.
- Jackie Burkhart: Oh, it's huge!
- The Landlord: [Opens the door and rushes into the apartment] Alright, you perverts! Stop it right now!
- [sees that he was mistaken]
- The Landlord: Another fruit salad? Why can't they ever be having sex?
- Kitty Forman: Oh, I'm sorry I'm so grumpy - it's just that I got a manicure yesterday and Red still hasn't said anything.
- Steven Hyde: Hey, you really want him to notice you? You should get drunk and do donuts on his lawn!
- Samantha Hyde: A good way to get a man to notice you is to show him how smart you are. But a faster way is to take your clothes off.
- Donna Pinciotti: I can't believe I let you take naked pictures of me!
- Samantha Hyde: I don't really get that one with the G. I. Joe between your boobs; but, hey, you know Eric better than me!
- Kitty Forman: [Frantically searching for the missing nudes of Donna] Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, no, no, NO! OK, Kitty, you know what to do!
- [Pulls out a bottle of wine and pours a big glass]
- Caroline: This is really nice! It's been so long since I could sit and talk to a man, and move my own arms freely!
- Kitty Forman: I've been trying so hard to get you to notice me, and all I had to do was set my hair on fire!