- [last scene: Jackie talks to her boss]
- Jackie Burkhart: I know in orientation we talked about theft in the workplace, so I would like to report a theft - from my check.
- [Jackie shows her paycheck]
- Jackie Burkhart: Now, I don't know who FICA is, but that bitch stole like 10% of my money. Also, now, I don't know if you have this key in your typewriter, but when I write "Jackie" I like to dot my "I" with a smiley face. Also, now, I put this in the suggestion box, but... you have something hanging from your nose. Oh, and I want Saturday off. Thank you. Bye.
- [Jackie exits the store without waiting for response, leaving her boss totally confused]
- [Jackie receives a paycheck - the first salary she has ever earned in her life]
- Jackie Burkhart: [excited] Oh my gosh! It's a check!
- [Jackie points to the corner of the check]
- Jackie Burkhart: And that's my name! Mine!
- Michael Kelso: So... we can stay together!
- Jackie Burkhart: Yeah, and I can still be rich!
- Michael Kelso: Yeah!
- Donna Pinciotti: Well, if this isn't gonna go badly, I'm heading home.
- [Donna turns to leave]
- Michael Kelso: No, wait. Jackie deserves a celebration. Hey, let's go buy me that remote control car!
- Jackie Burkhart: [firmly] No, Michael. Money doesn't grow on trees.
- [Jackie pauses, realizing what she has just said]
- Jackie Burkhart: Money *doesn't* grow on trees. You know, I think having a job is changing me. Okay, think about it: a whole new me.
- Michael Kelso, Donna Pinciotti: That'll be great!
- Kitty Forman: Here, honey, I brought you something back from the hospital. A lollipop!
- Eric Forman: Mom, I'm seventeen years old.
- Kitty Forman: Which is why I also brought you condoms.
- [Eric and Red groan uncomfortably]
- Kitty Forman: Well, see, we had a teenage mom come in, and it's just, well, y'know, I worry about you.
- Eric Forman: That I'll get pregnant? You're not a good nurse.
- Kitty Forman: Now don't be a porky-mouth. Oh, here. Sexual health pamphlets.
- [Eric and Red groan again]
- Kitty Forman: I just want you to know that intercourse is a responsibility, not just a right.
- Eric Forman: [he gets up to leave the kitchen table] OK. Well, this couldn't be more uncomfortable.
- Kitty Forman: [as Eric is leaving] Oh, oh, don't forget your condoms.
- Eric Forman: I was wrong!
- Jackie Burkhart: Oh Donna, you don't have to get a job just for me.
- Donna Pinciotti: I was talking about you, pimple-chin.
- Jackie Burkhart: Oh, no no no no. I am not getting a job. A job is for poor people. I am a rich person who doesn't have money. Big diff.
- Michael Kelso: Hey, is that a blackhead?
- Jackie Burkhart: [Terrified] No!
- Fez: That Thomas is shady. And have you noticed he never says what country he's from?
- Steven Hyde: What country are you from?
- Fez: What country are *you* from?
- Steven Hyde: America.
- Fez: Fine, mystery solved.