- Steven Hyde: No. No, man, there is no way I'm going on a date with your ex-girlfriend who's now my girlfriend, and your new girlfriend who doesn't want to be your girlfriend, but is pregnant with your child. That's like, hillbilly territory.
- Michael Kelso: I'll pay.
- Steven Hyde: I'm in.
- Reginald "Red" Forman: [agitated] You want to know why I'm unpleasant? I just had a heart attack! And now I have to be driven around like a useless dope by the idiot that married my daughter and gave me the heart attack in the first place! And I am also unpleasant because I just spent the entire day cooped up in the car breathing that mustard gas you call cologne! But mostly, I'm unpleasant because that's how it works in this family.
- Fez: I'm family?
- Reginald "Red" Forman: Oh, crap.
- Donna Pinciotti: You're babying him.
- Kitty Forman: I'm not.
- Donna Pinciotti: Are there crusts on that sandwich?
- Kitty Forman: Of course not! Crusts are icky, they make Eric sicky. Oh, my God, I *am* babying him!
- [Donna and Eric are about to have sex]
- Eric Forman: I'm just going to have to warn you, I'm exhausted, so you're going to have to do all the work.
- Donna Pinciotti: Why should today be any different?
- Michael Kelso: Okay, Brooke, here's the thing: We should date.
- Brooke: Michael, I'm pregnant with your child. Pretty much the best and worst things about dating have already happened to us.
- [to Eric and Donna]
- Michael Kelso: There's no groping in the circle! We made that rule for Fez, but it goes for everyone.
- [Eric and Donna just had sex]
- Eric Forman: You know what I have, right in the palm of my hand?
- Steven Hyde: No one wants to know that. Just wash up.
- Kitty Forman: You have been such a big help, working yourself nearly to death. I made you your special sandwich.
- Eric Forman: Awww. The 'Eric McSweety'.
- Steven Hyde: It's a regular sandwich, hold the masculinity.
- Jackie Burkhart: So, hey. Maybe a good way to break the ice would be for everyone to tell a few things about themselves. I'll go first. I like make-up and diets, and Steven, here, likes black things and throwing stuff at glass.
- Brooke: Okay. Well, I was valedictorian in my class, I run marathons, and I tutor kids in Latin.
- Michael Kelso: Well, I egged the valedictorian of my class. And a marathon runner. Oh, and some kids that took Latin!
- Steven Hyde: This is fun.
- Michael Kelso: We might not be the perfect match, but I really, really like you. And I think maybe us having this baby together is, like, fate.
- Brooke: Michael, fate is when two people meet on a train, or in Paris. Not in the bathroom at a Molly Hatchet concert.
- [she walks away]
- Michael Kelso: Fate! Man, never use a word in a fight if you don't really, really know what it means.
- Brooke: Okay, but don't pretend you want to go out with me because you feel guilty.
- Michael Kelso: I wanna go out with you because you're hot!
- Brooke: I'm not hot - I've gained six pounds...
- Michael Kelso: That's okay, 'cause it's mostly in your boobs! See, Nature does this to keep us around when you girls chunk out.