- [La Forge is working on Data's open head]
- Lt. Commander Geordi La Forge: I must admit, Data, I never get used to seeing you like this.
- Lt. Commander Data: I do not understand. You are constantly working on similar electronic systems, yet their appearances do not disturb you.
- Lt. Commander Geordi La Forge: Yeah, but you're not just another electronic system.
- Lt. Commander Data: Thank you, Geordi. Nor are you just another biological organism.
- [last lines]
- Alexander Rozhenko: Father? After what happened, I guess you'll never want to go back to the Ancient West.
- Lieutenant Worf: The town of Deadwood may face danger once again. If they do... they will need a sheriff... and a deputy.
- [a lightly dressed woman is posing from a saloon balcony]
- Lieutenant Worf: You wrote this holodeck program yourself?
- Alexander Rozhenko: Well - Mr. Barclay helped a little.
- Lieutenant Worf: I must have a little talk with Mr. Barclay.
- Counselor Deanna Troi: [playing her role as the mysterious stranger] Durango! I'm called Durango!
- Lieutenant Worf: Yes, er - Counselor Durango...
- Lieutenant Worf: [when getting involved in a saloon brawl] I'm beginning to see the appeal of this program!
- Lt. Commander Data: Spot, you are disrupting my ability to work.
- [he puts Spot to the floor, but she jumps back on Data's desk]
- Spot: Meow.
- Lt. Commander Data: Vamoose, ye little varmint!
- [several computer systems have been corrupted with Data's personal database]
- Captain Jean-Luc Picard: When can you correct the problem?
- Lt. Commander Data: We are currently attempting to isolate the corrupted circuit pathways. I reckon the process should take less than two hours.
- Captain Jean-Luc Picard: What did you say?
- Lt. Commander Data: I said the process should take less than two hours.
- Commander William T. Riker: No, you just said 'I reckon'.
- Lt. Commander Data: According to my memory logs, I did not use those words. Y'all must be mistaken.
- Lt. Commander Geordi La Forge: There - Data, you did it again.
- Lt. Commander Data: [southern accent] Did wha-t?
- Commander William T. Riker: Mr. Data.
- Lt. Commander Data: [southern accent] Howdy, Commander.
- Commander William T. Riker: Geordi, what have you found?
- Lt. Commander Data: [southern accent] Well - we figure part of my memory structure...
- Lt. Commander Data: [normal voice] ... was replaced with information from the computer's recreational database.
- Lt. Commander Geordi La Forge: Specifically, the files relating to the American 19th century West.
- Commander William T. Riker: That would explain the accent.
- Lt. Commander Data: [southern accent] You got it, partner.
- [Dr. Crusher asks Picard to take part in her play]
- Captain Jean-Luc Picard: Well, it's a, it's a very intriguing drama, but I... really don't have the time it would take to learn a part, and, uh... anyway, I'm not much of an actor.
- Doctor Beverly Crusher: That's no problem.
- Captain Jean-Luc Picard: [surprised] Oh?
- Doctor Beverly Crusher: Well, you wouldn't be playing one of the leads.
- Captain Jean-Luc Picard: [disappointed] Oh.
- Doctor Beverly Crusher: It's a very small part. Only two lines.
- Captain Jean-Luc Picard: Really?
- Doctor Beverly Crusher: It's the role of the butler!
- Captain Jean-Luc Picard: Well, I'll think about it and let you know.
- Doctor Beverly Crusher: You would be *wonderful*, Jean-Luc!
- Lieutenant Worf: [on the holodeck] Where are we?
- Alexander Rozhenko: Deadwood. 19th century Earth - the Ancient West.
- Lieutenant Worf: What is our function here?
- Alexander Rozhenko: You are the sheriff, and I am the deputy.
- [Eli Hollander shoots at his own wanted poster]
- Eli: If I ever find the varmint that drew this, he'll be sorry he ever put pen to paper. I'm ten times uglier than that, ain't I?
- Counselor Deanna Troi: There's a gunfighter out there who has the speed and accuracy of an android. And in two hours, he's going to try to kill you.
- Lt. Commander Data: Commander - you just sit tight. We'll have this all fixed up in time for supper.
- Lieutenant Worf: You have been accused of committing a homicide.
- Eli: If you mean murder, then I guess I'm guilty. I've killed 23 men, Sheriff. One more ain't gonna make much of a difference. 'course... shootin' someone as ugly as you couldn't be considered a crime, could it? Was you born that way? Or did your momma marry an armadillo?
- Lieutenant Worf: Where have they taken my son? Where is he?
- [grabs Eli by his collar]
- Eli Hollander: Temper, temper, Sheriff. My pa ain't gonna like it if I come home all bruised.
- [after Spot has refused Data's special cat food mixture]
- Lt. Commander Data: I find it extremely difficult to predict what you will find acceptable. Perhaps hunger will compel you to try it again.
- [Worf has arrested Eli and put him in jail]
- Lieutenant Worf: What are his rights in this century? Is there a, a trial? Or shall I execute him?
- Eli: Frankly, I don't think I'll be around here that long. Not after my old man hears about this.
- Lieutenant Worf: What "old man" are you referring to?
- Eli: My pa. When he breaks me out of this tin can... gravedigger'll be working overtime.
- Commander William T. Riker: The replicators on decks four through nine are producing nothing but cat food.