Star Trek (TV Series)

Mirror, Mirror (1967)

William Shatner: Captain James Tiberius 'Jim' Kirk

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Quotes 

• Dr. McCoy : Jim, I think I liked him with a beard better. It gave him character. Of course almost any change would be a distinct improvement.

  Captain James T. Kirk : What worries me is the easy way his counterpart fitted into that other universe. I always thought Spock was a bit of a pirate at heart.

  Mr. Spock : Indeed, gentlemen. May I point out that I had an opportunity to observe your counterparts here quite closely. They were brutal, savage, unprincipled, uncivilized, treacherous - in every way splendid examples of homo sapiens, the very flower of humanity. I found them quite refreshing.

  Captain James T. Kirk : [to McCoy]  I'm not sure, but I think we've been insulted.

  Dr. McCoy : I'm sure.

• Captain James T. Kirk : You would find me a formidable enemy.

  Mirror Spock : [Nods]  I'm aware of that, Captain. I trust that you are aware of the reverse.

• Mirror Spock : Captain, I am pleased that you frustrated Mr. Chekov's plan. I should regret your death.

  Captain James T. Kirk : Why?

  Mirror Spock : I do not desire the captaincy. I much prefer my scientific duties, and I am frankly content to be a lesser target.

  Captain James T. Kirk : Logical, as always, Mr. Spock.

• Captain James T. Kirk : [about to beam back to his own universe]  In every revolution there's one man with a vision.

  Mirror Spock : Captain Kirk, I shall consider it.

• Captain James T. Kirk : [to the parallel Spock]  I submit to you that your Empire is illogical because it cannot endure. I submit that YOU are illogical to be a willing part of it.

• Mirror Kirk : Spock, you traitorous pig, I'll hang you up by your Vulcan ears! I'll have you all executed!

  Mr. Spock : I think not. Your authority on this ship is extremely limited, Captain. The four of you will remain here in the brig and in custody until I discover how to return you to wherever it is you belong.

• Captain James T. Kirk : You heard my orders.

  Mirror Spock : They are, of course, in contradiction to standard Empire procedure. You cannot ignore the consequences.

  Captain James T. Kirk : Is that a threat?

  Mirror Spock : I do not threaten, Captain. I merely state facts. I have found you to be an excellent officer. Our missions together have been both successful and profitable; however, I shall not permit your aberrations to jeopardize my position.

• [last lines] 

  Lt. Marlena Moreau : [handing over a report]  Captain Kirk.

  [in background, Uhura turns and, in surprise, recognizes the Lieutenant] 

  Captain James T. Kirk : Lieutenant... um... Lieutenant...?

  Lt. Marlena Moreau : Marlena Moreau. I was just assigned last week.

  Captain James T. Kirk : All right, Lieutenant. Carry on.

  Mr. Spock : You've met her before, Captain?

  Captain James T. Kirk : Uh, why do you ask?

  Mr. Spock : Your reaction: one of... recognition?

  Captain James T. Kirk : Oh, no. No, no. We haven't met before... exactly. She just seemed... a nice, likable girl. I think we could become friends. It's possible.

• Mirror Kirk : Has the whole galaxy gone crazy? What kind of a uniform is this? Where's your beard? What's going on? Where's my personal guard?

  Mr. Spock : I can answer none of your questions at this time.

  Mirror Kirk : [chuckling in amusement]  All right, Spock. Whatever your game is, I'll play it. You want credits? I'll give them to you. You'll be a rich man. A command of your own? I can swing that, too.

  Mr. Spock : Apparently, some sort of transposition has taken place. I find it... extremely interesting.

  Mirror Kirk : Spock. What is it that will buy you? Power?

  Mr. Spock : [shaking it off]  Fascinating.

• Mirror Spock : I shall not waste time with you. You're too inflexible, too disciplined once you're made up your mind, but Dr. McCoy has a plenitude of human weaknesses - sentimental, soft. You may not tell me what I want to know, but he will.

  Captain James T. Kirk : You're running a big risk, Spock.

  Mirror Spock : I have the phaser, Captain. And I do not intend to simply disappear as so many of your opponents have in the past.

• Mirror Spock : I shall operate the transporter. You have two minutes and ten seconds.

  Captain James T. Kirk : In that time, I have something to say. How long before the Halkan prediction of galactic revolt is realized?

  Mirror Spock : Approximately two hundred and forty years.

  Captain James T. Kirk : The inevitable outcome?

  Mirror Spock : The Empire shall be overthrown, of course.

  Captain James T. Kirk : The illogic of waste, Mr. Spock. A waste of lives, potential, resources, time. I submit to you that your Empire is illogical because it cannot endure. I submit that *you* are illogical to be a willing part of it.

• Captain James T. Kirk : [impersonating the parallel Kirk]  You're the captain's woman, until he says you're not.

• Captain James T. Kirk : [narrating]  Captain's log, stardate unknown. We are trapped in a savage parallel universe from which we must escape within four hours, or I will face a death sentence at Mr. Spock's hands.

• Captain James T. Kirk : What is this, Mr. Sulu?

  Mirror Sulu : Mr. Spock has orders to kill you, Captain. He will succeed... apparently. You will also appear to have killed him after a fierce battle. Regrettable, but it will leave me in command.

• Wilson : Mr. Chekov was going to make me a chief, sir. You could make me an officer.

  Captain James T. Kirk : All right. You're working for me.

  Wilson : A commission?

  Captain James T. Kirk : You're in line. You might even make captain.

  Wilson : Yes, sir!

  [Kirk knocks Wilson to the ground] 

  Wilson : Ooo!

  Captain James T. Kirk : Not on MY ship.

• Mirror Spock : [a machine operates, and Chekov begins to scream. Kirk turns to look]  The agony booth is a most effective means of discipline. I presume you've ordered full duration?

  Captain James T. Kirk : I haven't decided.

  Mirror Spock : Indeed? His act warrants death.

• Captain James T. Kirk : This is a new race. They offer other things of value besides dilithium crystals.

  Mirror Spock : But it is clear that we cannot expect their cooperation. They refuse the Empire. Command procedure dictates that we provide the customary example.

• Mirror Spock : Captain, you have placed yourself in a most grave position. This conduct must be reported.

  Captain James T. Kirk : You're at liberty to do so, Mr. Spock.

• Bones : Jim, the way this ship is run, what kind of people *are* we in this universe?

  Captain James T. Kirk : Let's find out. Computer?

  Computer Voice : [male voice]  Ready.

  Captain James T. Kirk : Read out official record of current command.

  Computer Voice : Captain James T. Kirk, succeeded to command ISS Enterprise through assassination of Captain Christopher Pike. First action: suppression of Gorlan uprising through destruction of rebel home planet. Second action: execution of 5000 colonists on Vega IX.

  Captain James T. Kirk : Cancel.

  [stands, disgusted] 

  Captain James T. Kirk : Now we know.

• Dr. McCoy : [wiping Kirk's chin]  What's this?

  Captain James T. Kirk : It's called blood. Watch your step. The officers move up by assassination. Chekov tried it on me.

  Scotty : Mr. Sulu is security chief, like the ancient Gestapo.

  Dr. McCoy : And my sickbay is a chamber of horrors. Two of my assistants were betting on the tolerance of an injured man; how long it would take him to pass out from the pain.

  Captain James T. Kirk : Report on technology.

  Scotty : Mostly variations in instrumentation. Nothing I can't handle.

  Captain James T. Kirk : Star readings?

  Scotty : Everything's exactly where it should be, except us.

• Captain James T. Kirk : What I don't understand is how you were able to identify our counterparts so quickly.

  Mr. Spock : It was far easier for you, as civilized men, to behave like barbarians than it was for them as barbarians to behave like civilized men. I assume they returned to their Enterprise at the same time you appeared here.

  Captain James T. Kirk : Probably. However, that Jim Kirk will find a few changes, if I read my Spocks correctly.

• Captain James T. Kirk : [flippantly]  Are you going to shoot me now, Spock? I thought I had until dawn.

• Dr. McCoy : [treating Mirror Spock after he's knocked unconscious]  Do you want me to stop, Jim? It'll only take a minute.

  Captain James T. Kirk : He is very much like our own Mr. Spock, isn't he? You've got that minute.

• Mirror Spock : I received a private communication from Starfleet Command. I am committing a breach of regulations by informing you of its contents.

  Captain James T. Kirk : Yes, Mr. Spock.

  Mirror Spock : I am instructed to wait until planet dawn over principal target to permit you to carry out our mission.

  Captain James T. Kirk : And... if I don't?

  Mirror Spock : In that event, I am ordered to kill you and to proceed against the Halkans as the new captain of the Enterprise.

• Captain James T. Kirk : Communications status.

  Uhura : No storm damage, sir. All stations report normal.

  [whispering] 

  Uhura : You're ordered to annihilate the Halkans unless they comply. No alternative.

• Captain James T. Kirk : Captain's log, stardate unknown. During an ion storm, my landing party has beamed back to the Enterprise and found it and the personnel aboard changed. The ship is subtly altered physically. Behavior and discipline has become brutal, savage.

• Captain James T. Kirk : When may we resume discussion?

  Tharn : The Council will meditate further, but do not be hopeful of any change.

  [Kirk and the landing party move to leave] 

  Tharn : Captain. You do have the might to force the crystals from us, of course.

  Captain James T. Kirk : But we won't. Consider that.

• Captain James T. Kirk : Put phasers on standby, Mr. Sulu.

  Mirror Spock : A serious breach of orders, Captain.

  Captain James T. Kirk : I have my reasons, and I'll make them clear to you... in my own good time.

• Dr. McCoy : [in his quarters on the parallel Enterprise]  What is this? Everything's all messed up, changed around, out of place.

  Uhura : Captain, what's happened?

  Dr. McCoy : No, not everything.

  [pointing to a tabletop] 

  Dr. McCoy : That spot, I spilled acid there a year ago. Jim, what in blazes is...

  Captain James T. Kirk : I don't know. It's our Enterprise, but it isn't. Maybe...

  Uhura : Maybe what, Captain?

  Captain James T. Kirk : Any of you feel dizzy when we were in the transporter beam when we first materialized?

  Uhura : Yes.

  Scotty : I did.

  Captain James T. Kirk : It happened twice. First we were in our own transporter chamber, then we faded. And then when we finally materialized, we were here, wherever this is.

• Captain James T. Kirk : Captain's log, supplemental. I command an Enterprise where officers apparently employ private henchmen among the crew, where assassination of superiors is a common means of advancing in rank.

• Mirror Spock : Status of mission, Captain?

  Captain James T. Kirk : No change.

  Mirror Spock : Standard procedure, Captain?

  [Kirk nods] 

  Mirror Spock : [contacting the bridge]  Mr. Sulu, you will program phaser barrage on Halkan cities.

  Mirror Sulu : Yes, Mr. Spock.

  Mirror Spock : Their military capability, Captain?

  Captain James T. Kirk : None.

  Mirror Spock : Regrettable that this society has chosen suicide.

• Mirror Spock : I cut the transporter power. It was necessary to delay your beam-out until I could arrive.

  [opening a communications channel] 

  Mirror Spock : Engineering, reactivate main transporter circuits.

  Captain James T. Kirk : [the power returns]  You're a man of integrity in both universes, Mr. Spock.

  Mirror Spock : You must return to your universe. I must have my captain back.

• Scotty : Captain, the transporter chief mentioned a surge of power. The transporter lock might have been affected by the ion storm and we just materialized somewhere else.

  Captain James T. Kirk : Yes, here. Not our universe, not our ship. Something... parallel. A parallel universe co-existing with ours on another dimensional plane. Everything's duplicated... almost. Another Enterprise. Spock with a beard.

  Uhura : Another Captain Kirk, another Dr. McCoy...

  Dr. McCoy : An exchange. If we're here...

  Captain James T. Kirk : Then our counterparts must have been transporting up at the exact same time. Similar storms on both universes disrupted the circuits. We're here, and they're...

  [realizing] 

  Captain James T. Kirk : ...on our Enterprise. Probably asking the same questions; are we in another universe? And if so, how do we get back to our own? They'll use the computer, and we have to.

  Dr. McCoy : What about the Halkans? We can't let them be destroyed.

  Captain James T. Kirk : Scotty, can you buy me some time? Get below and short out the main phaser couplings. They'll think the storm blew the standby circuits.

  Scotty : Aye, sir.

  Captain James T. Kirk : Then get on this technology. It's all we have to work with if we wanna get back home. The intercom may be monitored. Use your communicators for private messages. Subfrequency and scramble.

• Captain James T. Kirk : Kirk to Enterprise.

  Mr. Spock : Spock here.

  Captain James T. Kirk : Report on magnetic storm, Mr. Spock.

  Mr. Spock : Standard ion type, Captain, but quite violent and...

  [the ship rocks] 

  Mr. Spock : ...and unpredictable.

  Captain James T. Kirk : Rough ride?

  Mr. Spock : If we stay.

  Captain James T. Kirk : Stand by to beam up landing party. Plot an extended orbit to clear disturbance. Kirk out.

• [first lines] 

  Tharn : We believe what you say, Captain Kirk, but our position has not altered. The Halkan Council cannot permit your Federation to mine dilithium crystals on our planet.

  Captain James T. Kirk : We have shown the Council historical proof that our missions are peaceful.

  Tharn : We accept that your Federation is benevolent at present, but the future is always in question. Our dilithium crystals represent awesome power. Wrongful use of that power, even to the extent of the taking of one life, would violate our history of total peace. To prevent that, we would die, Captain, as a race if necessary.

  Captain James T. Kirk : I admire your ethics, and hope to prove ours.

• Captain James T. Kirk : [pretending to be his mirror counterpart]  It is useless to resist us.

  Tharn : We do not resist you.

  Captain James T. Kirk : You have 12 hours to consider your position.

  Tharn : 12 years, Captain Kirk, or 12,000, we are ethically compelled to deny your demand for our dilithium crystal, for you would use their power to destroy.

  Captain James T. Kirk : We will level your planet and take what we want. That is destruction. You will die as a race.

  Tharn : To preserve what we are.

  Captain James T. Kirk : We will not argue. 12 hours. No more. Close communications. Turn phasers off.

  Mirror Sulu : Aye, sir.

  Mirror Spock : 12 hours, Captain? That is unprecedented.

• Captain James T. Kirk : This is the Captain. Record security research, to be classified under my voice print or Mr. Scott's.

  Computer Voice : Recorded.

  Captain James T. Kirk : Produce all data relevant to the recent ion storm. Correlate following hypothesis: could a storm of such magnitude cause a power surge in the transporter circuits, creating a momentary interdimensional contact with a parallel universe?

  Computer Voice : Affirmative.

  Captain James T. Kirk : At such a moment, could persons in each universe, in the act of beaming, transpose with their counterparts in the other universe?

  Computer Voice : Affirmative.

  Captain James T. Kirk : Could conditions necessary to such an event be created artificially using the ship's power?

  Computer Voice : Affirmative.

  Captain James T. Kirk : [inserting a data disk]  Record procedure.

  [removing it and giving it to Scotty] 

  Captain James T. Kirk : Scotty, can you do it?

  Scotty : Not by myself. I'll need help. And you'd be too conspicuous.

• Lt. Kyle : The power beam jumped for a moment, sir, just as the landing party was about to materialize. I never saw it happen before.

  Mirror Spock : Due to your error, Mr. Kyle?

  Lt. Kyle : No, Mr. Spock. Before.

  Mirror Spock : Possibly a result of the severe storm. Captain. Did you feel any abnormal effects?

  Captain James T. Kirk : Yes. Dr. McCoy, you better look us over. That was a rough beam-up.

• Scotty : The power's cut, sir. They're on to us.

  Captain James T. Kirk : Auxiliary.

  Scotty : Aye, it's available.

  Captain James T. Kirk : Can you bridge to your setup?

  Scotty : Oh, I can get us the power, but the automatic setting is linked to the transporter main. If we bypass, that means that someone has got to operate the controls manually.

  Captain James T. Kirk : One of us will have to stay.

  Scotty : I'll stay, Captain.

  Captain James T. Kirk : Get to the transporter chamber. You, too, Uhura.

  Scotty : Jim!

  Captain James T. Kirk : That's an order, Scotty.

• Scotty : We have to lay in the automatic transporter setting, but when we interrupt engine circuits to tie the power increase into the transporter, it'll show up on Sulu's security board. Of course, we'll only need a second.

  Captain James T. Kirk : I'll tell Uhura to create a diversion, distract Sulu's attention at your signal. We'd better get back to our posts. Keep me advised.

  Dr. McCoy : Jim. If we're here, what do you suppose our counterparts are doing back in our universe?

  Captain James T. Kirk : On our Enterprise.

• Mirror Marlena : Let's drink a toast to Spock. The only man aboard with the decency to warn you, and he'll die for it. You'll never find another man like him.

  Captain James T. Kirk : I don't intend to kill him.

  Mirror Marlena : Are you going to act against the Halkans before the deadline?

  Captain James T. Kirk : No. But I'll avoid killing Spock.

  Mirror Marlena : Just get him out of the way, he and his men.

  Captain James T. Kirk : I'll get out of his way.

• Mirror Marlena : [showing Kirk the Tantalus field]  I hate this thing.

  Captain James T. Kirk : It's not that bad.

  Mirror Marlena : Of course not. It made you captain. How many enemies have you simply wiped out of existence by the touch of a button? 50, 100? Hmm. Now, I always thought that was funny; the great, powerful Captain Kirk who owes everything to some unknown alien scientist and a plundered laboratory.

  Captain James T. Kirk : Well, if you don't take advantage of your opportunities...

  Mirror Marlena : You don't rise to the command of a starship... or even higher.

  [turning it on, they see Spock in his quarters] 

  Mirror Marlena : That magnificent mind of his. But it can't protect him from this.

  [indicating a green button] 

  Mirror Marlena : I press it and he dies. Now?

  [stopping her, he non-verbally orders her to close it] 

  Mirror Marlena : You really mean it. It doesn't matter. If Spock fails his order, he'll be killed anyway.

  Captain James T. Kirk : I'll see to it that the circumstances of his failure will clear him.

  Mirror Marlena : You're not even afraid of Starfleet Command. Can your scheme bring you that much power so quickly? And what about me? How does Marlena fit in?

  Captain James T. Kirk : [cupping her face]  How does Marlena want to fit in?

• Captain James T. Kirk : If change is inevitable, predictable, beneficial, doesn't logic demand that you be a part of it?

  Mirror Spock : One man cannot summon the future.

  Captain James T. Kirk : But one man can change the present. Be the captain of this Enterprise, Mr. Spock. Find a logical reason for sparing the Halkans and make it stick. Push 'til it gives. You can defend yourself better than any man in the fleet.

  Scotty : [on the transporter pad]  Captain, get in the chamber!

  Captain James T. Kirk : What about it, Spock?

  Mirror Spock : A man must also have the power.

  Captain James T. Kirk : In my cabin is a device that will make you invincible.

  Mirror Spock : Indeed?

  Captain James T. Kirk : What will it be? Past or future? Tyranny or freedom? It's up to you.

• Captain James T. Kirk : We have to get out of here within three hours. Spock has orders to kill me unless I complete the military mission.

  Scotty : We've got another deadline, too, sir.

  Captain James T. Kirk : Explain.

  Scotty : The two-way matter transmission affected the local field density between the universes, and it's increasing. We've got to move fast.

  Captain James T. Kirk : How fast?

  Scotty : Half hour at the most.

  Captain James T. Kirk : If we miss?

  Scotty : We couldn't get out of here in a century.

• Mirror Marlena : I heard about Chekov.

  Captain James T. Kirk : He gambled, I won.

  Mirror Marlena : Mm-mm. You got lucky. I'm surprised that you could be caught off-guard that way.

  Captain James T. Kirk : I was... preoccupied.

  Mirror Marlena : Ah. You're still in trouble with Starfleet Command. What you've got in mind this time is beyond me. You're scheming, of course. The Halkans have something you want, or... is it all some clever means to advance you to the admiralty? Kirk. The Cabinet itself?

  Captain James T. Kirk : Further than that if I'm successful.

  Mirror Marlena : Really? Well... you must know what you're doing. You always do. If I'm to be the woman...

  [kissing him] 

  Mirror Marlena : ...of a Caesar, can't I know what you're up to?

• Captain James T. Kirk : Conquest is easy. Control is not. We may have bitten off more than we can chew.

  Mirror Spock : Captain, I do not wish to find myself opposing you, but if you continue on your present course, this confusing and inexplicable behavior...

  Captain James T. Kirk : Is my concern, not yours.

• Captain James T. Kirk : You saved us back at sickbay with the Tantalus field.

  Mirror Marlena : Take me with you.

  Captain James T. Kirk : I can't. I'm sorry. Our power is balanced for four. There's no guarantee that we'll make it with five. All could die. Scotty.

  Scotty : [at the transporter controls]  It's working, sir.

  Mirror Marlena : But there are only three of you.

  Captain James T. Kirk : One is coming. I'd help if I could, Marlena. Believe that.

  [she raises a phaser] 

  Captain James T. Kirk : If you kill us, you'll still stay.

• Mirror Kirk : What's with this uniform? Where's your beard?

• Mirror Kirk : [yells]  I order you! Let me go!

  [Mirror Kirk is being restrained by Enterprise security] 

  Mirror Kirk : TRAITORS! Spock! Get these men off me!

  [Mirror Kirk is thrown into the ship's brig with the evil counterparts of Bones McCoy, Uhura and Scotty; all are talking at once] 

  Bones : What do you think you're doing, Spock?

  Mirror Kirk : Spock! You traitorous pig, I'll hang you up by your Vulcan ears! I'll have you ALL EXECUTED!

  Mr. Spock : I think not. Your authority on this ship is extremely limited, Captain. The four of you will remain here in the brig and in custody until I discover how to return you to wherever it is you belong.

  Mirror Kirk : Has the whole galaxy gone crazy? What kind of uniform is this? Where's your beard? What's going on? Where's my personal guard?

  Mr. Spock : I can answer none of your questions at this time.

  Mirror Kirk : [laughs]  All right, Spock. Whatever your game is, I'll play it. You want credits, I'll give them to you. You'll be a rich man. A command of your own? I can swing that, too.

  Mr. Spock : Apparently, some kind of transposition has taken place. I find it... extremely interesting.

  Mirror Kirk : Spock! What is it that will buy you? Power?

  Mr. Spock : Fascinating.

  Mirror Kirk : [yells]  Power, Spock! I can get that for you!