- SpongeBob SquarePants: [snowboarding] Hey, Sandy! Watch me do the Grouchy Squidward.
- Squidward: Stop naming moves after me.
- SpongeBob SquarePants: [imitating Squidward] Everybody's an idiot except me.
- Squidward: Well, it's true.
- [last lines]
- SpongeBob: [now ripped in half by the gorilla] Patrick? Sandy?
- Patrick, Sandy Cheeks: [in unison, tied in a sack] Yes, SpongeBob?
- SpongeBob: I'm sorry I caused all this. I'm not scared of going outside anymore, but I'm terrifed of gorillas now.
- Sandy Cheeks: Oh, that's alright, SpongeBob. Us too.
- SpongeBob: You know what I don't understand though?
- SpongeBob: [other half] What?
- SpongeBob: What's a gorilla doing underwater in the first place?
- [the gorilla's eyes widen up in shock]
- Gorilla: [nervously] Well, that's funny, you should - I mean, you see that - George, they're onto us!
- George: Let's get out of here!
- [the gorilla and the horse run away into the sunset as Sandy, Patrick, and SpongeBob watch them, a family is watching this as the mom and dad look at each other, the dad shuts off the TV as the screen goes to black]
- The Flying Dutchman: OK Krabs, I'll let you stay. But first, help me settle a bet. If you had to choose between Spongebob and all the money I have in my pocket, which would you take?
- Mr. Krabs: That depends. How much money we talking about?
- SpongeBob: Mr Krabs?
- The Flying Dutchman: 62 cents.
- Mr. Krabs: I'll take the money.
- SpongeBob: Mr Krabs!
- The Flying Dutchman: Next stop, Davy Jones' locker!
- [transports Mr. Krabs to a locker room]
- The Flying Dutchman: Here we are!
- Mr. Krabs: Why does it smell so foul?
- The Flying Dutchman: Davy Jones works out a lot. These are his gym socks.
- Mr. Krabs: [after selling SpongeBob for pocket change] Look, Squidward. Money!
- Squidward Tentacles: Mr. Krabs, I can't believe I'm saying this, but how could you trade SpongeBob for 62 cents?
- Mr. Krabs: You think I could have gotten more?
- Squidward Tentacles: He stuck up for you and you sold him out. You should be ashamed of yourself!
- Mr. Krabs: [realizes] What have I done? Oh, I want another chance! I didn't learn anything! I lost me best fry cook! I don't want this foul money! I want SpongeBob back!
- [sobs]
- [SpongeBob is falling to the ground]
- Sandy Cheeks: SpongeBob! Land on your bottom! It'll cushion the impact of the fall!
- SpongeBob: [makes himself right-side up and takes off his pants] Like this?
- Patrick: No, your other bottom!
- Sandy Cheeks: [annoyed] Don't you have to be stupid somewhere else?
- Patrick: Not until 4.
- [SpongeBob crashes to the ground, where his rear has been shattered into hundreds of pieces]
- Sandy Cheeks: Ooh, that's gotta hurt.
- Patrick: Do it again! I wasn't looking!
- Sandy Cheeks: Don't worry, Patrick. We'll get SpongeBob to come outside, and then he'll see there's nothing to be afraid of.
- Patrick: [wearing a boxing glove] And that's when I punch him, right?
- [Sandy stares at him, unamused]
- Doctor: Well, it looks like your gluteus maximus has made a full recovery.
- SpongeBob: My what has a what now?
- Doctor: Your butt's all better. It's really quite amazing. It took 20 hours to put it all back together. We actually ran out of staples, so we had to use a glue stick. Yep, you're a lucky, lucky, lucky, lucky, lucky luck boy. But next time I want you to be more careful. One more injury like that, and you could end up like that poor creature there, in the iron butt.
- Tom: Oh, man. It itches.
- Doctor: Well, Mr. Krabs, you gave us quite a scare.
- Mr. Krabs: Am I going to be okay?
- Doctor: Well, if you don't want to take my word for it, let's just check out your chart.
- Doctor: [reads chart] Let's see... Oh no. Oh no! This is terrible!
- Mr. Krabs: Is everything all right, doc?
- Doctor: Don't come near me! Ahh!
- [runs away]
- Mr. Krabs: That's not a good sign.
- [Mr. Krabs cries as he mistakenly traded SpongeBob to the Flying Dutchman]
- The Flying Dutchman: [angry] Here, take him back!
- Mr. Krabs: You heard what I said about the money?
- The Flying Dutchman: Heard what you said? I couldn't hear myself thinking with this one around. I only had him for 30 seconds! And it's jellyfishing this and Mermaid Man that!
- [while he's speaking, we get a flashback to moments before. The Flying Dutchman is hovering outside Davy Jones' locker, with SpongeBob standing on his open palm and chattering away]
- SpongeBob: Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy merchandise were the closest thing to everything. I love jellyfishing, you should love jellyfishing. You should come some time and bring your own net!
- The Flying Dutchman: Why, not giving him back is a fate worse than death! He's your problem now!
- [He disappears laughing furiously]
- The Flying Dutchman: Who dares back sass the Flying Dutchman?
- SpongeBob SquarePants: That would be me, SpongeBob Back-sassPants!
- SpongeBob SquarePants: That accident made me realize that it's dangerous out there. I was the one of the lucky ones. I'm a survivor, and so I simply decided that I'm never leaving my house again.
- Sandy Cheeks: That's crazy talk!
- Patrick: That's not crazy talk! This is crazy talk!
- [He starts babbling incoherently. Sandy pounds his head into his body to make him shut up]
- Patrick: Sorry.
- Squidward: Gee, Mr. Krabs, you sure are taking total bankruptcy well.
- Mr. Krabs: Oh, it's just a bad dream. I'll wake up soon.
- [SpongeBob and Squidward share worried glances]
- Squidward: Uh... "dream"?
- Mr. Krabs: Sure. I'm still in the hospital sleeping like a baby!
- SpongeBob: Umm, you checked out of the hospital this morning.
- Squidward: Here's the bill.
- Mr. Krabs: You mean... I'm awake?
- [He screams]