Spaced (TV Series)

Epiphanies (1999)

Michael Smiley: Tyres O'Flaherty

Photos 

Quotes 

• [at the end of the episode; everyone is dancing at the club, having a good time. Tyres heads to the exit - a smoky archway - looks around and smiles] 

  Tyres : [voiceover - deep, different sounding voice]  My work here is done.

• Tim : So, what did you do last night?

  Tyres : [gets up]  Last night? Last night was an A1, tip-top, clubbing jam fair. It was a sandwich of fun on ecstasy bread, wrapped up in a big bag like disco fudge. It doesn't get much better than that. I just wish sometimes I could control these FUCKING MOOD SWINGS!

  [suddenly he's sitting down again] 

  Tyres : So, what did youse two, uh, friends do last night?

• Tyres : I can't get me head around this platonic inter-gender relationship malarkey, it just doesn't seem right to me. Don't get me wrong like, I don't mind having a chin-wag with a honey, but I just like to do it after a waggle on her chin, you know what I mean?

  Tim : [laughs]  Yeah.

  Daisy : [slightly offended]  You like to waggle your willy on her chin?

  Tyres : Don't come your post-feminist, art school bollocks with me, Sunflower, if that's your real frigging name! All right? I work for a living, what do you do?

  Daisy : I write, actually.

  Tyres : Oh, do you? In other words, you're on the dole.

• Tyres : [speaks very fast in a Northern Irish accent]  Is it OK if I bring the bike in? It's just I've seen your landlady's curtains twitching, she's got the look of a bike thief about her.

  Tim : What, aging female divorcee? What's she going to do, sell it to buy Jacob's Creek?

  Tyres : Don't get sarky with me, mate! That bike's my living - not like you, pretending to be some struggling cartoonist, poncing off the state while decent taxpayers like me fund your drink problem. I wouldn't mind so much, but you seem to be having such a shit time!

• Tyres : [gets up and gets on his bike]  OK, I'm going off for a shower and a shit and a shave, and I'll be back for youse about 11 o'clock, all right? Pack your party bags, people, because tonight is gonna be a large one, all right?

  [in a London accent] 

  Tyres : Be lucky! Oi-oi!

  [laughing, he sweeps out the door on his bike, the door blows shut behind him]