- [on the kindergarten class president election]
- Mr. Garrison: You can't have an election with just one person running, what's the fun in that? Ike, how about you? You're a genius.
- [Ike looks at the others glaring at him]
- Ike: No.
- Mr. Garrison: Okay, our next nominee is Ike the Genius.
- Kyle Broflovski: [BSM-471 pulls out a weapon] Hey! What are you doing?
- BSM-471: I'm afraid I have no other choice. For the sake of humanity, I have to kill him.
- Kyle Broflovski: Oh, okay.
- Stan: Yeah, that's fine... No, wait!
- BSM-471: What?
- Stan: Can I do it?
- Trapper Keeper: We are Trapper Keeper. We are one.
- BSM-471: A part of your friend must still be alive in there.
- Stan: [the Trapper Keeper farts] He is in there.