The Sopranos (TV Series)
Whitecaps (2002)
Edie Falco: Carmela Soprano
Photos
Quotes
-
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : You know, when you asked me what Irina's cousin had, that you don't have? Well, I thought about it, 'cause it's a pretty good fucking question. And yes, she's sexy enough even with the one pin gone, but that's not it. I could converse with her 'cause she had something to say.
Carmela Soprano : I AM HERE! I have things to say!
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : Besides bringing the fuckin' chairs down and sign the fucking trust! She was a grown fuckin' woman who was kicked around. And she's been on her own and she had to fight and struggle!
Carmela Soprano : Unlike me? Is that it?
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : Yeah.
Carmela Soprano : [shouting] Who the fuck wanted it like this? Who the fuck pissed and moaned of just the idea of me with a fucking real estate license?
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : Well, you sit back for 20 fucking years all you did was fiddle with the air conditioning and fucking bitch and complain! And fucking bitch, bitch, bitch to me! TO YOUR PRIEST! FUCK IT!
Carmela Soprano : Who knew all this time you wanted Tracy and Hepburn? Well Tony, what about all the thousand other fucking pigs you had your dick in over the years? The strippers, the cocktail waitresses, were they all your best friends all of them too?
[pause]
Carmela Soprano : You fucking hypocrite.
-
Carmela Soprano : Just for the record, I would have gone on with your cheating, and your bullshit, if your attitude around here had been the least bit loving, concerned, interested.
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : Whose idea was Whitecaps?
Carmela Soprano : That's just a bigger version of an emerald ring. So you can go on with your other life.
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : You don't know me at all.
Carmela Soprano : I know you better than anybody, Tony, even your friends. Which is probably why you hate me?
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : Hate you? I don't hate you, but hey, I'm going to hell when I die. Nice thing to say to a guy headed into an MRI.
-
Carmela Soprano : You have made a fool of me for years with these whores. Now it's come into our home?
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : What are you talking about?
Carmela Soprano : The RUSSIAN called. Your son answered the telephone!
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : Oh, Jesus. Carmela, she's insane. She's certifiable, I told you. You can't believe a word she says, whatever it is, and we haven't seen each other like that, I swear to Christ!
Carmela Soprano : What about her cousin?
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : [realizing he's been caught] What? No.
Carmela Soprano : The nurse who took care of your mother, who I liked? Who I spoke to on the phone about your mother's alopecia and her bowel movements? Who I shared vodka with the night your mother died? You've been FUCKING her?
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : There is not a shred of truth in that.
Carmela Soprano : Why would the cousin make it up, huh? Because she's jealous?
[she lunges at him and he grabs her and pins her to the wall]
Carmela Soprano : LET GO OF ME!
-
Carmela Soprano : You piece of shit!
Irina Peltsin : Yes, I'm a piece of shit. I'm a piece of shit which the world, every morning, strains and pushes out of its butt! If you can, imagine where you are on the pecking order.
-
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : Carmela, who the fuck did you think I was when you married me, huh? You knew my father, you grew up around Dicky Moltisanti and your uncle Eddie. Where do you get off acting so surprised and miffed when there are women on the side? You knew the deal.
Carmela Soprano : Deal?
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : And your mother can talk about what she wants about whats his name and his chain of drug stores. You and I both know that the other boyfriend you were debating marrying was Gerry Tuffie and his father's snow plow buisness. And we now know that that wouldn't of suited you at all.
Carmela Soprano : You really don't hear me, do you? You think for me it's all about things.
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : No I forced all this shit on you. What you really crave is a Hyundai and a simple gold heart on a chain.
Carmela Soprano : You are so fucking hateful.
-
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : get any sleep?
Carmela Soprano : couldn't
Carmela Soprano : [referring to the house they intend to buy on the Jersey Shore] we have absolutely no business getting into something like that house with AJ two years away from college
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : [referring to the person he was just talking to over the phone] that was Virginia Lupo: she hasn't heard from the owner, I guess that deal's not gonna go through?
Carmela Soprano : I wonder who they are?
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : [angrily, after opening the Chinese takeout container] mother fuckin God damn orange peel beef!
Carmela Soprano : well, call them up, you got me the plain soup, right?
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : we'll be finished eating the rest of this shit by the time he gets back
Carmela Soprano : you have to go through the order while their still here
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : what "good" does that do? They still gotta get it and come back again
Anthony 'A.J.' Soprano, Jr. : [while entering the kitchen] what happened?
Carmela Soprano : they left out part of the order
Anthony 'A.J.' Soprano, Jr. : call them up
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : just sit down and eat
Carmela Soprano : some things aren't meant to be
Anthony 'A.J.' Soprano, Jr. : what're we talking about?
Carmela Soprano : I was thinking about buying your mother a house down the shore
Anthony 'A.J.' Soprano, Jr. : un-fuckin believable
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. , Carmela Soprano : [chastising him for cursing] hey!
Anthony 'A.J.' Soprano, Jr. : would we have a gym?
Carmela Soprano : it's the shore, wouldn't you want to be outdoors?
Carmela Soprano : [to AJ] forget that, your fined three dollars for the "F-word"
Anthony 'A.J.' Soprano, Jr. : I heard dad say "mother F" when I was coming down the stairs
Carmela Soprano : his fined too, we're gonna make this policy work
Anthony 'A.J.' Soprano, Jr. : it's too late
-
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : [while they lay in bed, after she turns on the light in the middle of the night] What's going on?
Carmela Soprano : [referring to the house they intend to buy on the Jersey Shore] It does seem like a good value, even at that price: waterfront property, in that area, we probably wouldn't hurt as an investment?
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : You're the one who took real estate classes, didn't you say that a person should look at a house as an investment?
Carmela Soprano : I know you, if you don't get the place, you'll sulk, and I'll be the wet blanket
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : Sulk? I was sleeping
Carmela Soprano : If you want me to sign off, we probably wouldn't lose money but if you wanna go through with it, believe me, that's fine too
Carmela Soprano : [after she turns off the lights] If you did, Virginia Lupo's phone number is on the bureau, better to act quickly, you know more is lost by indecision rather than wrong decision is all I'm saying
-
Irina Peltsin : [drunk, over the phone] Tony loves me, you know? If it wasn't for his kids, you'd be out on the street
Carmela Soprano : what'd you want?
Irina Peltsin : well, I thought you might want to know we have something else in common: his been sleeping with my cousin Svetlana
Irina Peltsin : [when she doesn't respond] that's right, when she was taking care of his uncle
Carmela Soprano : you piece of shit
Irina Peltsin : yes, I'm a piece of shit that wakes up every morning and pushes itself out of its butt. So, if you can, imagine where you are on the pecking order
Carmela Soprano : if you call my house again, if you ever speak to one of my children again, I will track you down and I will kill you: we have guns here... I mean it
Irina Peltsin : you remember my cousin? She was also his mother's caretaker, the one with the one leg. If it's so absurd, why would I make it up?
-
Carmela Soprano : [angered after Irina called Carmela to tell her that Tony slept with her cousin Svetlana] just get out: don't even say anything
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : I'm not going anywhere and you know it. So, let's just lie down, we'll calm down...
Carmela Soprano : [slaps his hand off her shoulder, shouting] get your hand off of me, don't you touch me ever again
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : [changing the subject] where's AJ?
Carmela Soprano : [ignores his question, referring to Svetlana and his other extramarital affairs] so, you got a one legged one now, huh? That's nice, you've had quite a time on my watch, a pre-school assistant, the weight lifter...
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : at least I never stole from you
Carmela Soprano : who stole, me?
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : [referring to the money he hid from the authorities] my own wife, forty grand from the bird feeder
Carmela Soprano : bird feeder, listen to yourself, you sound demented
Carmela Soprano : [when he moves closer to her] you want to hit me? Go ahead. Just please go away, I can't stand it anymore
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : I didn't do it
Carmela Soprano : [shouts, referring to Valentina La Paz, one of his previous mistresses] I found her fingernail: you saw it that day, on your night table. I found it and I put it there, I know you saw it
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : [shouts] that...
Carmela Soprano : that what?
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : [realizes his been caught] nothing
Carmela Soprano : you know what I don't understand? What does she have that I don't have?
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : [ignores her question] I did not carry on an affair with the cousin and I will take a God damn polygraph to that effect
Carmela Soprano : I want you to leave... please? I want you to leave me alone
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : what about the kids?
Carmela Soprano : yeah, it's horrible, God help them