The Sopranos (TV Series)
Employee of the Month (2001)
James Gandolfini: Tony Soprano
Photos
Quotes
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Silvio Dante : Ginny told Gabriella she needed a bigger house.
Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri : Ginny Sacrimoni, what she needs is her own zip code.
Gigi Cestone : Jersey's a small state. She moves in, she could tip it over.
Furio Giunta : I like a woman you can grab onto something.
Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri : You grab onto Ginny Sacrimoni, your fuckin' hands will disappear!
Silvio Dante : She's so fat, her blood type is Ragu.
Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri : She's so fat, she goes campin', the bears have to hide their food.
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : When Ginny hauls ass, she's gotta make two trips.
Gigi Cestone : Two guys could fuck her at the same time, and still never meet!
Johnny Sack : [John walks in] Fuck who?
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : Nobody, we're just talking about one of the girls
Johnny Sack : Is that all you dead beats talk about?, Pussy?
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Tony Soprano : [while walking down the stairs to greet Tony] look whose here, the guinea welcome wagon
Tony Soprano : [Visiting Johnny in his new house in New Jersey, jokingly] this is for you, you piece of shit. Carmella's bringing something nice for the house warming for Ginny
Johnny Sack : [Showing Tony around his home] they call this the great room. I don't know what's so "great" about it. It's mediocre if you ask me. We got a fuckin living room right over there
Tony Soprano : I didn't know you were moving to New Jersey
Johnny Sack : Ginny wanted to be close to her sisters and schools out here
Tony Soprano : We were sitting with Carmine all night long, you never once mentioned you bought a place in Jersey
Johnny Sack : It's not Carmine's favorite subject me living in Jersey, it's what? Half an hour over the bridge?
Tony Soprano : Well, why didn't you tell me you were moving here?
Johnny Sack : Why?
Tony Soprano : I've got to find out second hand?
Johnny Sack : What'd you care? Are you working in the toll booth now? Besides I already got the condo in Point Pleasant
Tony Soprano : You should have fuckin told me
Johnny Sack : I'm telling you now, this is strictly a place to live. I've got no intention to "stick my beak in." I mean there's our "family" then there's the Soprano "thing."
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Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : I was wondering who's Z24 was sitting in the driveway, what? You get a new car?
Jackie Aprile Jr. : yeah
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : You want anything? A coke?
Jackie Aprile Jr. : No, I'm set. I heard about Ralph Cifaretto... that he got passed over
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : [surprised] you heard about what? Who?
Jackie Aprile Jr. : I'm just saying Ralph, it's probably a smart move. I mean the more I get to know him, his kind of a cool guy but...
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : [interrupts him] it's none of your fuckin concern, you told me you were gonna go to college then I gotta hear Christopher's shit about you?
Jackie Aprile Jr. : [realizes Christopher told Tony that Jackie Jr. drove the getaway car for the robbery on his college campus] oh, you talked to Chris, oh shit
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : That's right. I promised your dad: don't make this hard on me. I already got him once to bust my balls
Meadow Soprano : [after arriving home carrying her laundry bag] hey Jackie, what're you doing here?
Jackie Aprile Jr. : waiting for you
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : What? I don't get a hello?
Meadow Soprano : I need two hundred dollars for November to put in my student account
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : [irritated] You don't talk to me for weeks but my money's still green
Meadow Soprano : [sarcastically] I'm looking forward to total independence, believe me. African Americans go to Columbia dad, some of them are my friends
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : [referring to Noah Tannenbaum] friend, my ass, under a blanket, on my couch, watching television with his shoes off, with you
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Tony Soprano : [Referring to her blouse] is that new? Looks good
Dr. Jennifer Melfi : Did you bring your log?
Tony Soprano : My log?
Dr. Jennifer Melfi : You remember last week, you were going to keep a record. I asked you to write any feelings of anxiety or memories of past anxiety attacks
Tony Soprano : [Remembering what they discussed at their previous session] yeah, my parents, the pork store, it was interesting
Dr. Jennifer Melfi : Have you thought at all about that?
Tony Soprano : How do people find the time?
Dr. Jennifer Melfi : To get well
Tony Soprano : My mother's dead, I haven't had a panic attack since
Dr. Jennifer Melfi : You've gone months without them before, the conflicts that caused them and your depression are buried deep inside you. Are you happy?
Tony Soprano : Am I happy? Look, I'm sorry I didn't bring the list. I'll bring it next week
Dr. Jennifer Melfi : [sighs] we ought to think about bringing your wife into this
Tony Soprano : In here? Carmela?
Dr. Jennifer Melfi : You're the one who wanted to take a more proactive approach
Tony Soprano : [Disagreeing with her suggestion] that's not in the future
Dr. Jennifer Melfi : Let's talk frankly. You've demanded more of me. Fine but you're not trying
Tony Soprano : Yeah I know, the past, but shit happens in my daily life that needs attention now. I got some genuine concerns, like my son, he shies away from anything that requires effort and I think that he picks that up from me. I mean his in football now right? But Carmela is guilty about this as I am.
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Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : [after entering their mother's home] When'd you change the locks?
Janice Soprano : [referring to Svetlana] The minute the Ukrainian dye job was out the door
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : Don't mess with the Russians: it's all I'm gonna say
Janice Soprano : She can have her leg back when she returns ma's record collection and don't say you wouldn't have done the same thing
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : [irritated] I'm getting calls at my house from her cousin, I can't have it, don't fuck with me on this: give back the leg
Janice Soprano : Those records are yours too. It's sad you don't care: those records, their a window into ma's soul. In fact, I'm making a documentary The World War Two generation and their music exemplified by ma
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : Who the fuck are you kidding? Your gonna sell them on the internet
Janice Soprano : I have work to do
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : [while making the hand gesture for male masturbation, implying he doesn't believe her] yeah right, cleaning up the cellar. Good luck finding the lost dutchman goldmine, you'd make more money working a real job
Janice Soprano : Right, like the minute I'm out of here, you're not gonna have contractors downstairs tearing apart the walls
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Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : [after placing his pager on her coffee table as she requested and beginning his therapy session] see? I turned it off
Dr. Jennifer Melfi : Since we've last met, I've been thinking about your course of therapy
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : You're the doctor
Dr. Jennifer Melfi : I think you're ready to move on to Behavior Modification Therapy
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : What's that mean? Talk to somebody else?
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : [when she doesn't respond] Is this because what happened last time? Look, I'm sorry, like you said, it's hard to think about that stuff. I mean, it took me how long to remember it even happened?
Dr. Jennifer Melfi : I realize that
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : You know, your fuckin unbelievable. I ask you to get serious in here and when it gets hard, you "pawn" me off on to somebody else
Dr. Jennifer Melfi : I'm just introducing the idea: something for you to think about. I'm going to bring some things for you to read about Behavior Modification Therapy
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Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : [after Tony overhears the ending to Carmela and Dr. Melfi phone conversation] Tell him what?
Carmela Soprano : It was your therapist
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : [sarcastically, not wanting Lilliana to know he sees a psychiatrist] Why don't you just announce it on WFAM?
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : [to Lilliana sweeping nearby] Go find some dust
Carmela Soprano : She was in a car accident: she has to cancel your next appointment
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : Is she alright?
Carmela Soprano : [nods] She said she was ok, she hurt her knee
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : Her knee? Really? What happened?
Carmela Soprano : I don't know, she didn't say
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : I hope she don't need stiches: stiches on the knee never heal right, it could leave a very bad scar. Any knee injury could be very serious, you know, you can get arthritis for the rest of your life, ask Joe Namath
Carmela Soprano : [uninterested] No thanks
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : Listen, last time, she mentioned that maybe... you would come to my therapy? Give your perspective on the panic attacks and our home life... whatever
Carmela Soprano : Sure. Not now she's sick
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Ralph Cifaretto : [talking privately] Fuckin sand monkey on 17th is holding out on us
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : [referring to injuring Arouk Abboubi in a fight] So you treat his brother-in-law to a ride in an ambulance?
Ralph Cifaretto : [referring to a derogatory term for Italian Americans] He said a very bad word
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : Let me ask you something, why would you take Jackie's kid on something like that?
Ralph Cifaretto : Someone's gotta show him how the real world works. The kid's got a chip on his shoulder, twenty-three years old, still living at home
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : [jokingly, referring to Ralphie dating Rosalie Aprile] So he can keep an eye on the pencil prick that's banging his mother
Ralph Cifaretto : [laughs] No matter how nice I am to that little bastard, he still hates me
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : Don't look at me, I got a daughter that age: it's all a fuckin mystery
Ralph Cifaretto : [agreeing with him] Amen
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : I was thinking being a parent, that's the hardest job, harder than the other shit we do, the garbage route, whatever
Ralph Cifaretto : Like with my first marriage, my kid Justin...
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : [interrupts him] I got some news you're not gonna like, I'm putting our friend in over there... as captain
Ralph Cifaretto : [surprised] What?
Ralph Cifaretto : [disappointed] Fuckin Gigi, are you fuckin shitting me?
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : I'm sorry
Ralph Cifaretto : This bullshit with the Arab, so I went over the top but I'll take care of it on a people level
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : [referring to Ralphie's committed other offenses in the past] You know this isn't the first thing
Ralph Cifaretto : Well, then at least tell the truth: you want one of your own people over there, so you can spy on the Aprile crew
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : Yeah, but I shouldn't have to. You got some "bad tendencies" and I sympathize because I got them too but you're partnering up with Joe Brooklyn with that shit over at the port. Come on, you know that was a bum decision
Ralph Cifaretto : The bottom line speaks loudest, I'm running my ass off for you
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : It's my decision
Ralph Cifaretto : Jesus Christ, I eat dinner at your house
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : This is business