Son of the Beach (TV Series)
Chip's a Goy (2001)
Timothy Stack: Notch Johnson
Quotes
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Noccus Johnstein : And now, Notcholeh, in honor of your arrival, join me as we blow the shofar.
Notch Johnson : [glancing at their chauffer] He was a good driver and all, but can't we just throw him twenty bucks?
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Noccus Johnstein : I'm concerned about Hummus.
Notch Johnson : Hummus? You mean the tasty chip dip made entirely of chickpeas?
Noccus Johnstein : No. This is Hummus, the terrorist organization. Led by Osama bin *Layden*!
Notch Johnson : Do you mean Osama bin Laden?
Noccus Johnstein : No. He's bad, too. But I'm talking about Osama bin *Layden*!
Notch Johnson : So, what's the deal with this Osama bin Layden?
Noccus Johnstein : Well, Osama bin *Layden* has created a secret gas bomb. When it hits, you don't even realize it.
Notch Johnson : The worst kind of gas... silent but deadly.
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Notch Johnson : Okay, gang, let's hit the mall and do some shopping.
B.J. Cummings : Great. I want to buy some "Jew-veniers".
Kimberlee Clark : How do we get there, Nocchus?
Noccus Johnstein : Oh, you can't miss it. You see where those, uh, four Palestinians are?
[machine gun fire in the distance]
Noccus Johnstein : You see where those three Palestinians are? Right behind them.
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Mohammed : Hello, my friend. Do you like to eat dates?
Notch Johnson : Well, that's a very personal question. But I suppose it would depend on the girl.
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Notch Johnson : [captured and put into slavery] Oh, Lord. I'm so hot and thirsty. If you hear me, please bring me something to drink.
Schmuel : Here, drink this. It'll make you feel better.
Notch Johnson : Thank you. Bless you.
[taking a sip]
Notch Johnson : Ahh, that hit the spot. What do you call this drink?
Schmuel : Urine.
[Notch glances at the bowl and back]
Schmuel : Well, sometimes you just have to make do.
Notch Johnson : Actually, it's not bad. But who had the asparagus?