Soap (TV Series)

Episode #3.21 (1980)

Billy Crystal: Jodie Dallas

Quotes 

• [at Jodie and Carol's custody hearing, the two attorneys have just met] 

  Mallou : This is big, ask me why.

  Jodie : Why?

  Mallou : High noon, kid. Showdown at Bear Creek. Together for the first time. Big! This guy's never been beaten. Gosh, I wish they had some cameras in here.

  Jodie : Can you beat him?

  Mallou : What? Of course I can. If anyone can, I can. But he's good. He once defended a woman who wanted custody of her child, he made her look like Joan of Arc.

  Jodie : But you said the mother usually wins anyway, right?

  Mallou : Not if she's on death row at the time.

  Jodie : Why was she there?

  Mallou : Cannibalism. But don't worry, I'll beat him. We'll make the OK Corral look like a pillow fight!

  Jodie : If you're done with your Gary Cooper movie, try to remember that my daughter is the issue here and not your career.

  Mallou : If I lose, you lose kid. Don't forget that.