Soap (TV Series)

Episode #2.16 (1979)

Ted Wass: Danny Dallas

Photos 

Quotes 

• [Burt, Danny, Jodie, Chuck and Bob are all drunk in a bar] 

  Burt : Life plays funny tricks.

  Bob : [to Chuck]  Oh, god, he's gonna make a speech. Spare me, please.

  Danny : Don't mind him, Burt, he's drunk.

  Burt : You see, what happens in life is this: Something bad happens to you and you say, "Oh, god! Look at This bad thins that just happened to me." Then you figure it's over and it will all get good again, but then what happens is another bad thing happens and then you say, "Pfft! That was a surprise. I mean, two bad thing in a row, but I guess that's it for a while, 'cause I just had my quota of bad." And then what happens is that some awful thing happens to you, like everything gets taken away from you, and you say, "Pfft! Well, that's it. I mean there's nothing else that can happen now. I lost everything!" And then, life plays its "funny trick"... you die.

  Danny : Life is unfair to do that!

• [Burt, Danny, Jodie, Chuck and Bob are all drunk in a bar] 

  Jodie : I'm not gonna throw up. I never throw up.

  [Burt and Danny laugh] 

  Burt : What do you mean "I never throw up"?

  Jodie : I *never* throw up!

  Burt : [laughs]  Throwing up is not a choice. You don't say "I'm sorry, I don't play tennis and I don't throw up."

  Danny : Wait a minute. Wait a minute. I bet I can make him throw up.

  Jodie : Oh, yeah?

  Danny : Yeah!

  Jodie : Okay. Take your best shot.

  Danny : Okay... picture this: a sack full of worms falls in your mouth...

  Bob : [revolted]  Stop! Stop!

  Danny : I know I could make you throw up. All right, imagine this: a ton of raw liver...

  Jodie : Get me a spoon.

  Danny : And it's out in the hot sun...

  Jodie : Oh, I love it.

  Danny : And there's maggots in it and you've gotta eat it.

  Bob : [gagging]  Oh, god! Stop!

  Jodie : See that? I told you, I never throw up. I don't even gag.

  Danny : I'll stick my fingers down your throat.