- Corinne Tate: Oh, Tim, I love you. I love you and I want you.
- Father Timothy Flotsky: You got me, Corinne.
- Corinne Tate: [lustily] You know what I mean.
- Father Timothy Flotsky: Corinne, after we're married.
- Corinne Tate: You're asking me to marry you?
- Father Timothy Flotsky: No, I've gone to my superiors and asked to be released from my vows because I want to go steady.
- Carol David: So how's your wife?
- Dennis Phillips: It didn't work out. She left me.
- Carol David: Oh, what happened? Quarterback couldn't complete the pass?
- E. Ronald Mallu: [Confessing his love for Jessica] At first I thought you were a lunatic. Then, as I got to know you, I thought you were the most outrageous and impossible woman I ever met. Now I find you the most original and delightful.
- [last lines]
- Announcer: Jessica Tate did NOT kill Peter Campbell. One of these five people did.
- [Cut to still shots of Chester, Jodie, Corinne, Benson, and Burt]
- Jessica Tate: I'm innocent.
- Announcer: WHO killed Peter Campbell?
- Charles Lefkowitz: Danny... I know what you're thinking.
- Danny Dallas: No. No, you don't know.
- Charles Lefkowitz: You don't know how you're going to marry such a rotten, disgusting pig like Elaine.
- Danny Dallas: You know!
- Charles Lefkowitz: Hey, I was married to her mother. And you're also probably thinking of running away?
- Danny Dallas: Oh, Mr. Lefkowitz, please!
- Charles Lefkowitz: Well, good. Because if you did run away and I couldn't find you to kill you... I'd kill your family.
- Charles Lefkowitz: [beat] Bring Elaine home early. See you at the wedding!