The Simpsons (TV Series)

When You Dish Upon a Star (1998)

Kim Basinger: Kim Basinger

Quotes 

• Kim Basinger : Wow, Homer. You got everything. Even the Oscar polish!

  Alec Baldwin : Honey, don't you think you've polished that enough? You're taking the finish off.

  Kim Basinger : When you win one, you can take care of it how you want.

• Kim Basinger : Let's get him!

  Alec Baldwin : And this time, it's personal.

  [Kim and Ron Howard stare at him] 

  Alec Baldwin : What? It is personal! He's got our underpants!

• [Kim Basinger is working out, Homer is coaching her] 

  Homer : And stretch. And strain. And hyperextend. Keep those knees rigid. Jerk that lower back.

  Kim Basinger : I'm getting some shooting pains in my neck...

  Homer : That's right, force it. Whip that neck.

  [Alec Baldwin enters the room] 

  Alec Baldwin : Does anybody know where this came from?

  Homer : Oh, there's that script I wrote. Where did you find it?

  Alec Baldwin : It was on my pillow.

  Homer : The important thing is, it has the perfect part for you. For either of you. It's about a killer robot driving instructor who travels back in time for some reason. Ron Howard's attached to direct.

  Ron Howard : No, I'm not.

  Homer : Well, he expressed an interest.

  Ron Howard : No, I didn't.

  Homer : Did too.

• Homer Simpson : What are you two big Hollywood stars doing in good old Springfield?

  Kim Basinger : Sometimes we need to get away from Hollywood. L.A. is just so phony.

  Homer Simpson : Well, why don't you just move to, say, Bethesda?

  Alec Baldwin : Not phony enough.

  Kim Basinger : What we really like here is the privacy. Most people don't even know where Springfield is.

  Homer Simpson : Yeah. Tell you the truth, I'm not even sure.

• Alec Baldwin : Okay, you're on. But look, nobody knows we're in Springfield, and we wanna keep it that way.

  Kim Basinger : Will you promise to keep out secret?

  Homer Simpson : Absolutely. If you promise to keep mine.

  Alec Baldwin : Okay. What is it?

  Homer Simpson : [shamefully]  I can't read.

  Kim Basinger : But you just read that card from the Gersh Agency.

  Homer Simpson : I recognized the logo.