- Lucy Lawless: I'll take you home.
- [Lucy flies, carrying Bart and Lisa]
- Lisa: Hey, Xena can't fly.
- Lucy Lawless: I told you, I'm not Xena. I'm Lucy Lawless.
- Comic Book Guy: Stop right there! I have the only working phaser ever built. It was fired only once to keep William Shatner from making another album.
- Lucy Lawless: But I'm sure that once girls get to know the real you, you'll get plenty of dates. Next question!
- Professor Frink: Yes, over here, m-hey, m-heyven. In episode BF12, you were battling barbarians while riding a winged Appaloosa. Yet in the very next scene, my dear, you're clearly atop a winged Arabian! Please to explain it!
- Lucy Lawless: Ah, yeah. Well, whenever you notice something like that, a wizard did it.
- Professor Frink: I see, all right yes. But in episode AG4...
- Lucy Lawless: Wizard.
- Professor Frink: Ah, for glavin out loud...
- Lisa Simpson: I still can't believe we escaped from those horrible vampires.
- Homer Simpson: But it was worth it to get back our Super Sugar Crisp cereal.
- Homer Simpson: [singing] Can't get enough of that Sugar Crisp.
- Marge Simpson: [driving] I'm having a hard time seeing. Homer, did you remember to put the fog lights in?
- Homer Simpson: [singing to the same tune] Guess I forgot to put the fog lights in.
- [Homer and Bart are on a spaceship listening to Rosie O'Donnell sing]
- Bart Simpson: Don't worry, Dad. We'll be dead in five minutes.
- Homer Simpson: Not fast enough!
- [he presses the eject button, which sends them into space where their heads explode]
- Comic Book Guy: [Coming out of the vat of Lucite] Lucite... hardening... must... end life... Classic... Lorne... Green... death... pose... from... Battlestar... Galactica.
- [Body becomes stiff]
- Comic Book Guy: Best... death... ever.
- Homer Simpson: [looking around the spaceship] Ooh! There's Ross Perot... Dr. Laura... Spike Lee...
- Bart Simpson: Wait, they're not that great.
- Homer Simpson: [looking again] Okay, there's Dan Quayle and Courtney Love... Tonya Harding... Al Sharpton?
- [Tom Arnold walks in, Homer screams]
- Homer Simpson: TOM ARNOLD? WHAT THE HELL'S GOING ON?