The Simpsons (TV Series)

Treehouse of Horror V (1994)

Nancy Cartwright: Bart Simpson, Sherman, Student

Photos 

Quotes 

• Homer Simpson : [chops down a door a la The Shining]  Heeeeeeeeeeeere's Johnny!

  [there's no one in the room] 

  Homer Simpson : D'oh!

  [chops down another door] 

  Homer Simpson : Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaavid Letterman!

  Grandpa Simpson : Hi, David, I'm Grampa.

  Homer Simpson : D'oh!

  [chops down another door and holds a stopwatch] 

  Homer Simpson : I'm Mike Wallace, I'm Morley Safer, and I'm Ed Bradley. All this and Andy Rooney tonight on 60 Minutes!

  Marge Simpson , Bart Simpson , Lisa Simpson : AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!

• Bart Simpson : Hey! I found a shortcut through your hedge maze.

  Groundskeeper Willy : Why you little...

  [thinking] 

  Groundskeeper Willy : No, no, go easy on the wee one. His father's going to go crazy and chop 'em all into haggis!

  Bart Simpson : What's haggis?

  Groundskeeper Willy : [gasps]  Boy... you read my thoughts! You've got the Shinning.

  Bart Simpson : You mean "Shining".

  Groundskeeper Willy : [sotto voce]  Shh! You wanna to get sued? Now look, boy: if your Dad goes gaga, you just use that... Shin of yours to call me and I'll come a runnin'. But don't be reading my mind between four and five. That's Willy's time!

• Homer Simpson : [Homer is falling through a time warp filled with clocks]  Wow! I'm the first non-Brazillian person to travel backwards through time!

  Mr. Peabody : [Mr. Peabody and Sherman, the time traveling duo from the Rocky & Bullwinkle show, float past]  Correction, Homer, you're the second.

  Sherman : That's right, Mr. Peabody.

  Mr. Peabody : Quiet, you!

• Lisa : Mom! Mom! You gotta help! They're cooking kids in the school cafeteria!

  Marge Simpson : Listen, kids - you're eight and ten years old now; I can't be fighting all your battles for you.

  Bart Simpson : But, mom!

  Marge Simpson : Nobuts! You march right back to that school, look them straight in the eye and say 'Don't eat me'.

• [first lines] 

  Marge Simpson : [emerges from behind a curtain]  Hello, once again. As usual, I must warn you that this year's Halloween show is very, very scary, and those of you with young children may want to send them off to bed, a...

  [someone hands her a note, which she reads] 

  Marge Simpson : Oh, my. It seems the show is so scary, that Congress won't even let us show it. Instead, they've suggested the 1941 Glenn Ford movie, "200 Miles to Oregon".

  [a black-and-white live-action shot of a wagon train plays for a few seconds and then is cut off with a flash. The flash then turns into a oscilloscope's waveform] 

  Bart Simpson : There is nothing wrong with your television set. Do not attempt to adjust your picture. *We* are controlling the transmission.

  Homer Simpson : What's that, boy? We're in control? Hey, look! I can see my voice!

  [chuckles, then vocalizes to experiment with the waveform] 

  Homer Simpson : Brrrrrr! Hee! Heeee! Blub-blub-blub-blub-blub! This. Is-my-voice. On Tee-Vee...!

  Bart Simpson : DAD! You're ruining the mood!

  Homer Simpson : Sorry.

  Bart Simpson : For the next half-hour, we will control what you see and hear. You are about to experience the terror and foul horror of...

  [the waveform morphs into an outline of the family] 

  Bart Simpson : The Simpsons Halloween Special.

• Marge : [Bart awakens from a nightmare]  Relax, honey. You were just having a crazy nightmare. You're back home with your family now, where there's nothing to be afraid of... except that fog that turns people inside out.

  Bart : Huh?

  Homer : [the fog starts coming in]  Uh-oh, it's seeping in. STUPID CHEAP WEATHER STRIPPING!

  [everyone screams as the fog turns them inside out; then they stop screaming, looking at each other. Music plays, and they start dancing and singing] 

  Marge , Bart , Homer , Lisa : One chorus line of people, dancing till they make us stop!

  Groundskeeper Willie : [Willy, also turned inside out, jumps on stage]  Too...!

  Marge , Bart , Homer , Lisa , Groundskeeper Willie : Many dancing people, covered in blood, gore, and glop!/Just one sniff of that fog and you're inside out!/It's worse than that flesh-eating virus you've read about!/Vital organs, they are what we're dressed in, the family dog is eyeing Bart's intestine!/Happy Halloween!

• Lisa Simpson : Dad, look!

  [holds TV up] 

  Homer Simpson : Television! Teacher, mother...

  Homer Simpson : [lustily]  ... secret lover. Urge to kill... fading... fading... fading - rising! Fading... fading... gone.

  [family sighs] 

  Homer Simpson : Come, family. sit in the snow with daddy and let us all bask in TV's warm glowing warming glow.

  [Hours later, everyone is frozen] 

  man introducing Tony Awards : [on TV]  Live, from Broadway, it's the Tony Awards, with your hosts Tyne Daly and Hal Linden!

  Bart Simpson : [with difficulty]  Homer... change channel.

  Homer Simpson : Can't! Frozen!

  [music on TV: "One chorus line of people...?] 

  Homer Simpson : [family screams] 

  Homer Simpson : Urge to kill... rising...

• Bart Simpson : Don't worry, guys, something always comes along to save us.

  Milhouse Van Houten : Aaaaaggggghhhhh!

  [Milhouse falls to his death in the meat grinder] 

  Bart Simpson : Ah, nevertheless, I remain confident something will come along and save the two Simpson children.

• Homer Simpson : Hey, where is everybody?

  Bart Simpson : Hey, there's a bug that looks like Dad. Let's kill it!

  Lisa Simpson : OK.