The Simpsons (TV Series)

Treehouse of Horror IX (1998)

Harry Shearer: Jason Voorhees, Announcer, Kent Brockman, Scratchy, Dr. Hibbert, Kang, Maggie, 'Dracula Got His Groove' Announcer

Quotes 

• [couch gag] 

  Freddy Krueger : I don't get it. They should be here by now.

  Jason Voorhees : Ah, what are you gonna do?

• Kang : Holy fleurking schnit!

• Marge Simpson : [after the aliens left]  Suckers!

  Homer Simpson : [to Maggie]  Come on, Maggie. Let's go home.

  Maggie : [removes pacifier]  Very well, I'll drive!

  [laughs] 

  Maggie : I need blood.

• Kent Brockman : [grim]  ... and the fluffy kitten played with that ball of string all through the night.

  [brightens] 

  Kent Brockman : On a lighter note, a Kwik-E-Mart clerk was brutally murdered last night.

• [Kodos and Kang appear at The Simpsons' door] 

  Homer : Oh no, Mormons!

  Kang : Actually, we're Quantum Presbyterians.

• Scratchy : Hey, you're beautiful.

  Marge : Aww. Look who's found a new love. That means you'll have to be neutered.

  Scratchy : [grabbing himself]  NOOOOOOO!

• Kang : Oh, you look lovely this evening. Have you decreased in mass?

• Announcer : We'll return after "How Dracula Got His Groove Back"!

• Itchy : [Itchy is trying to kill Lisa and Bart with a chainsaw and ends up cutting off Scratchy's arms]  Sorry.

  Scratchy : It happens.

• Scratchy : [Itchy has just cut off Scratchy's head and put a candle inside Scratchy's mouth and Bart and Lisa laugh]  Why are you laughing?

  Itchy : Hey! They're laughing at your pain!

  Scratchy : [reattaches his head]  That's mean!

  Itchy : Let's teach them a lesson!