The Simpsons (TV Series)

Thirty Minutes Over Tokyo (1999)

Dan Castellaneta: Homer Simpson, Groundskeeper Willie, Emperor, Barney

Quotes 

• Homer Simpson : If we want to see Japanese people, we can just go to the zoo.

  Marge Simpson : [mortified]  Homer!

  Homer Simpson : What? The guy who washes the elephants is Japanese... his name is Takashi... he's in my book club.

• Marge : C'mon, Homer, Japan will be fun. You like Rashoman.

  Homer : That's not how I remember it. Besides, if we wanted to see Japanese people we could have gone to the zoo.

  Marge : Homer.

  Homer : What? The guy who washes the elephants is Japanese. His name is Takashi. He's in my book club.

• Marge Simpson : You liked "Rashomon".

  Homer Simpson : That's not how I remember it.

• Homer Simpson : [about his time in a Japanese prison]  I had to do a stupid Kabuki play about the 47 Ronin, I wanted to be Yoshi but they made me Ori.

• Lisa Simpson : Wow dad, you're surfing like a pro.

  Homer Simpson : Oh yeah. I'm betting on Jai Alai in the Cayman Islands, I invested in something called News Corp...

  Lisa Simpson : Dad, that's Fox!

  Homer Simpson : Augh! Undo! Undo!

• Homer Simpson : Hey, you know, I once knew a man from Nantucket.

  Bart Simpson : And?

  Homer Simpson : Let's just say the stories about him are greatly exaggerated.

• Lisa Simpson : Now, can we do something that is Japanese?

  Marge Simpson : Oh, I know that you wanna visit Japan, honey but we're down to our million yen

  [pulls a yen bill out of her hair] 

  Homer Simpson : Here

  [Takes the yen bill and makes an origami craine] 

  Homer Simpson : It's a craine they say it brings luck.

  Marge Simpson : Careful Homer, we need that money to get home.

  [Then the wind picks up and blows the bill away] 

  Homer Simpson : [In Japanese]  D'oh!

• Lisa Simpson : Hey look. There's a cybor cafe opening right here in Springfield. Will you take me dad? Please! I'll show you how to order pizza over the internet.

  Homer Simpson : The internet? Is that thing still around?

  Bart Simpson : I know a website that shows monkeys doing it.

  Lisa Simpson : Bart, the internet is more than a global pornography network, it's a...

  [Homer honks his car horn] 

  Homer Simpson : Come on Lisa, monkeys!

  [Lisa groans] 

• Marge : Ooh. I never knew Jim Belushi made so many movies.

  Homer : Yeah, isn't it amazing? They're filming one right now in the bathroom. It's gonna be on towards the end of the flight.

  [a camera crew films Jim Belushi walking down the aisle] 

  Belushi : Toga. Toga. Toga 2000.

  Homer : Marge. They stole my idea.

• Homer : Oh well. At least we'll die doing what we love: inhaling molten rock.