"The Simpsons" The Principal and the Pauper (TV Episode 1997) - Martin Sheen as Sgt. Seymour Skinner

Superintendant Chalmers : Now let's clear this up. Who exactly are you?

Sgt. Seymour Skinner : Sergeant Seymour Skinner, U.S. Army.

Principal Skinner : It's true. I was in his platoon. But, they said you were killed on that scouting mission.

Sgt. Seymour Skinner : No, just captured. It's kind of a funny story, really. After five years in a secret P.O.W. camp, I was sold to China for slave labor. And since '77 I've been making sneakers at gunpoint in a sweatshop in Boo-Haun.

Marge Simpson : That's not a funny story.

Sgt. Seymour Skinner : Well, I guess you had to be there.
Sgt. Seymour Skinner : You know, where I come from, there's no better way to get acquainted by reciting the Pledge of Allegiance together.

[to Bart]

Sgt. Seymour Skinner : Why don't you lead us, son?

Bart Simpson : Hey, America, you're so fine, you're so fine you blow my mind, America.

[makes a farting noise, the kids laugh]

Sgt. Seymour Skinner : Well, that's very concise. But it's an insult to everything I suffered for. Now take a seat, junior, and listen to someone who gave their youth in service to their country. Mrs. "Crabapple", the pledge, please?

Mrs. Krabappel : You haven't dealt with women for a long time, have you, Sergeant?

Sgt. Seymour Skinner : Are you asking me out?
Sgt. Seymour Skinner : You've led quite a life, Tamzarian.

Armin Tamzarian : It's your life. I just kept it warm for you.

Martin Sheen: Sgt. Seymour Skinner