The Simpsons (TV Series)

The Principal and the Pauper (1997)

Hank Azaria: Superintendant Chalmers

Quotes 

• Superintendant Chalmers : Now let's clear this up. Who exactly are you?

  Sgt. Seymour Skinner : Sergeant Seymour Skinner, U.S. Army.

  Principal Skinner : It's true. I was in his platoon. But, they said you were killed on that scouting mission.

  Sgt. Seymour Skinner : No, just captured. It's kind of a funny story, really. After five years in a secret P.O.W. camp, I was sold to China for slave labor. And since '77 I've been making sneakers at gunpoint in a sweatshop in Boo-Haun.

  Marge Simpson : That's not a funny story.

  Sgt. Seymour Skinner : Well, I guess you had to be there.

• Superintendant Chalmers : Good lord! The rod up that man's butt, must have a rod up its butt!

• Superintendant Chalmers : Your new principal would like to say a few words. Remember, you have to respect him. He's a war hero.

  Nelson Muntz : Ha Ha!