The Simpsons (TV Series)
The Parent Rap (2001)
Jane Kaczmarek: Judge Constance Harm
Quotes
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Judge Constance Harm : Grand theft auto?
Bart Simpson : It was an accident, ma'am.
Judge Constance Harm : Don't spit on my cupcake and tell me its frosting.
Homer Simpson : What did she say about cupcakes?
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Judge Constance Harm : Agh! That quilt was made by my Grandmother.
Homer Simpson : So... it cost you nothin'.
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Judge Constance Harm : [a woman, to Bart] You remind me of myself... when I was a little boy.
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Judge Constance Harm : According to this, your father was driving you to school. Then where was he when you stole the police car?
Homer Simpson : Uh, your Honor, I was chasing the KBBL Party Penguin Prize Patrol.
Judge Constance Harm : You abandoned your son to win forty dollars?
Homer Simpson : And a Blue Oyster Cult medallion.
[Holds it up and admires it]
Homer Simpson : Cool.
Judge Constance Harm : And that was more important than keeping your son out of trouble?
Homer Simpson : Your Honor, if may sing a little bit of, "Don't Fear the Reaper," I think you'll agree...
Judge Constance Harm : I'm familiar with BOC. But you have got a boy here who is crying out for adult supervision.
Homer Simpson : I couldn't agree more. Perhaps some sort of court-appointed babysitter or au pair.
Judge Constance Harm : Sorry, bub, that crow won't caw.
Homer Simpson : It won't!
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Judge Constance Harm : I hereby order you to be tethered to your son.
Homer Simpson : Tethered!
Judge Constance Harm : Tethered. Report to room five.
Homer Simpson : Room five!
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Judge Constance Harm : I'm gonna lock you up till frogs do fractions!
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Judge Constance Harm : Oh, I can't resist that look. You remind me of me, when I was a little boy.
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Judge Constance Harm : But I was about to bang my gavel, making the sentence official!