The Simpsons (TV Series)

The Last Temptation of Krusty (1998)

Nancy Cartwright: Bart Simpson, Todd Flanders

Quotes 

• Homer Simpson : From now on, I'm gonna be just like Krusty and tell it like it is. Marge, you're getting a little fat around the old thighs!

  Bart Simpson : Dad!

  Homer Simpson : You too, Bart!

  Marge Simpson : Oh, knock it off, Homer, you're the fattest one in the car!

  Homer Simpson : [shocked, hurt]  You didn't have to tell it like it is, Marge!

• [Homer walks into the bathroom to use the lavatory] 

  Bart Simpson : Dad!

  Homer : [laughs]  Whoops, sorry son. I didn't know you, Jay Leno, and a monkey were bathing a clown.

• Bart Simpson : What do we need church shoes for? Jesus wore sandals.

  Homer Simpson : Well, maybe if he had better arch support they wouldn't have caught him!

• Bart Simpson : And then of course there's Mom who sounds something like this.

  [Bart ties a blue blanket around his head to resemble Marge's hair] 

  Bart Simpson : [in a shaky voice]  Eat your vegetables. Take a sweater. I don't think that's a good idea.

  [groans] 

  Homer Simpson : [Homer and Lisa laugh]  Take that, Marge!

  [Marge groans] 

• Bart Simpson : [to Jay Leno]  Anyway, don't you have some advice for Krusty?

  Jay Leno : Well, these days, people like observational humor about things they deal with in everyday life.

  Krusty the Clown : Oh, yeah. You mean like when your lazy butler washes your sock garters and they're still covered with schmutz?

  Jay Leno : Well, kind of, but more universal. And maybe lose the "me so solly" bit.

  Bart Simpson : Hey, whoa, whoa. Let's not tamper with a classic.

  Krusty the Clown : Shut up, kid. Come on, Leno. Tamper, teach, impart.

• Bart Simpson : Oh, P-U, what where you drinking, gasoline?

  Krusty the Clown : Yes, I was drinking gasoline, MOTHER!

• Krusty the Clown : [When Bart and Jay Leno are giving Krusty a bath and washing his hair]  Jay, you're a professional comedian, right? Right? Answer me!

  Jay Leno : Yes! Now stop squirming. I'm trying to get these tangles out.

  Bart : They are just impossible.

  [Jay Leno gives him a look] 

  Bart : Well, they are.

• Bart : What do we need church shoes for? Jesus wore sandals.

  Homer : Well, maybe if he had better arch support, they wouldn't have caught him.

• [Driving home from Krusty's comedy show] 

  Homer Simpson : From now on, I'm going to be just like Krusty and tell it like it is! Marge, you're getting a little fat around the thighs.

  Bart : Dad!

  Homer Simpson : You too, Bart.

  Marge : Oh Homer, be quiet, you're the fattest person in this car.

  Homer Simpson : Aw... you didn't have to tell it like it is.

• Todd Flanders : [after Rod and Todd find Krusty passed out in their backyard]  Wow, a clown. Do you think he's evil?

  Rod Flanders : [sniffs Krusty]  He smells evil.

  Todd Flanders : Should we tell Daddy?

  Bart : No, let's poke him a little while longer.

  Bart : Hey, get away from him, you little freaks!

  [Rod and Todd run back into their house screaming]