The Simpsons (TV Series)

The Last Temptation of Homer (1993)

Harry Shearer: Principal Skinner, Mr. Burns, Smithers, Agent Wessom, Lenny Leonard, Dr. Hibbert, Kent Brockman, Nature Documentary Narrator, Ned Flanders, Homer's Guardian Angel, Jeeves, Nuclear Power Heckler #2, Emcee, Chinese Busboy #1

Quotes 

• [first lines] 

  Bart : [finishes with his paintbrush]  The beauty of it is, each parking space is a mere one foot narrower. Indistinguishable to the naked eye. But therein lies the game.

  Milhouse : I fear to watch, yet I cannot turn away.

  Principal Skinner : Blasted woman, you parked too close! Move your car!

  Mrs. Krabappel : I'm in the lines! You got a problem, go tell your mama!

  Principal Skinner : Oh, don't worry, she'll hear about this.

• [Homer, Lenny and a worker are wandering around, reading speeches written on their hands] 

  Homer : 'Mindy, because of our uncontrollable attraction, I think we should avoid each other from now on.'

  Lenny Leonard : 'Max, what I did, I did because of alcohol and anger.'

  Man with Big Hand : 'I'm tired of these jokes about my giant hand! The first such incident occured in 1956 when... '

  Mindy Simmons : Hi, Homer!

  Homer : [surprised]  Mindy! Uh...

  [clears his throat, looks at his palm, and discovers the writing has become smudged] 

  Homer : Oh no, I'm sweating like Roger Ebert!

  [attempts to read] 

  Homer : 'Mur-Murphy. Use-you are an elf... uncontrollably... I, I think... a wee nam myoho renge kyo.'

• Lenny : With a woman working here, we won't be able to spit on the floor anymore.

  Carl : And we won't be able to take our pants off when it gets really hot.

  Homer : And we won't be able to pee in the drinking fountain...

  [receives stares] 

• Homer : [Homer gets knocked out and his spirit is pulled out of his body by another spirit]  Who are you?

  Homer's Guardian Angel as Isaac Newton : Homer, I'm your guardian angel. I've assumed the form of someone you'd recognize and revere: Sir Isaac Newton.

  Homer : Sir Isa-who?

  Homer's Guardian Angel as Isaac Newton : [Transforming himself]  Oh, very well.

  Homer : [gasps]  Colonel Klink! Did you ever get my letters?

  Homer's Guardian Angel as Colonel Klink : I'm not actually Colonel Klink, I'm just assuming his form.

  Homer : Hee, hee, hee! Did you know Hogan had tunnels all over your camp?

  Homer's Guardian Angel as Colonel Klink : Homer-r-r! That's not why I'm here.

  Homer's Guardian Angel as Colonel Klink : My job is to show you how miserable life would be if you married Mindy instead of Marge.

  Homer : [Flying over a mansion]  Ooh! I would live in a big mansion?

  Mindy Simmons : [Homer and Mindy play tennis while Jeeves looks on]  I'm so happy, darling.

  Homer : I, as well. Are you happy, Jeeves?

  Jeeves : M'yes sir, quite.

  Homer : Then we're all happy!

  Homer's Guardian Angel as Colonel Klink : Let's get out of here.

  Homer's Guardian Angel as Colonel Klink : [Flying over the White House]  Sure, life is good for you. But what about Marge?

  Homer : [gasps]  Marge lives here?

  White House Assistant : Madam President, your approval rating is soaring.

  Marge Simpson : Hmm...

  Homer's Guardian Angel as Colonel Klink : [Homer wakes up back in his body]  This dream is over.

  Lionel Hutz : Hey, you! Get out of my office!

• [at an energy convention, Homer and Mindy are hosting the "Nuclear Power" booth] 

  Nuclear Power Heckler #1 : [passing by]  Thanks for poisoning the planet, bastards!

  Mindy Simmons : Get bent!

  Nuclear Power Heckler #2 : [passing by]  No more Chernobyls!

  Homer : Go to hell!

• Waylon Smithers : [a red warning light begins flashing in Mr.Burns's office]  Someone is charging room service to the company, sir!

  Montgomery Burns : Well, we'll see about that!

  Montgomery Burns : [Burns uncovers a cage full of black monkeys that have tiny wings, and opens it]  Fly, my pretties! Fly! Fly!

  Montgomery Burns : [the monkeys all leap out Burns's window and instead of flying away, fall like stones to the ground below]  Ungh... Continue the research!

• Waylon Smithers : Simpson, Simmons. You two have been chosen to represent us at the national energy convention. Congratulations! You'll be spending two nights together in glamorous Capital City.

  Mindy Simmons : Wow, Capital City! The Windy Apple!

  Waylon Smithers : Come on, I'll get you the tickets.

  Homer : Oh, this is the worst crisis my marriage has ever faced! Colonel Klink, why have you forsaken me?

  Homer's Guardian Angel as Colonel Klink : [Klink materializes]  What is it? You have a question?

  Homer : Heh heh. Did you know Kinch had a radio in the coffee pot?

  Homer's Guardian Angel as Colonel Klink : [Surprised]  He did? Mmm!