The Simpsons (TV Series)
The Last Temptation of Homer (1993)
Dan Castellaneta: Homer Simpson, Trapped Teacher, Charlie, Zutroy, Optometrist, Barney Gumble, Grampa Simpson, Yokel Student, Man with Big Hand, Flying Monkeys, Hans Moleman, Fossil Fuel Man
Photos
Quotes
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[Homer, Lenny and a worker are wandering around, reading speeches written on their hands]
Homer : 'Mindy, because of our uncontrollable attraction, I think we should avoid each other from now on.'
Lenny Leonard : 'Max, what I did, I did because of alcohol and anger.'
Man with Big Hand : 'I'm tired of these jokes about my giant hand! The first such incident occured in 1956 when... '
Mindy Simmons : Hi, Homer!
Homer : [surprised] Mindy! Uh...
[clears his throat, looks at his palm, and discovers the writing has become smudged]
Homer : Oh no, I'm sweating like Roger Ebert!
[attempts to read]
Homer : 'Mur-Murphy. Use-you are an elf... uncontrollably... I, I think... a wee nam myoho renge kyo.'
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Homer : Moe, I need your advice.
Moe Szyslak : [not very interested] Yeah.
Homer : See, I got this friend, Joey Jo-Jo Junior... Shabadoo?
Moe Szyslak : That's the worst name I ever heard.
[a man runs out of Moe's crying]
Barney Gumble : Hey, Joey Jo-Jo!
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Homer : [singing a parody of Barry Manilow's song Mandy] Oh, Margie, you came and you found me a turkey on my vacation away from workey.
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Bellhop : TV's there. Bathroom's there. And there's your king-size bed for...
[wolf-whistles, makes a cat noise, imitates a bed squeaking, purrs, pants, barks, howls, twiddles his lips]
Bellhop : Hubba, hubba!
Homer : Stop that! I love my wife and family. All I'm gonna use this bed for is sleeping, eating, and maybe building a little fort.
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Homer : [Homer gets knocked out and his spirit is pulled out of his body by another spirit] Who are you?
Homer's Guardian Angel as Isaac Newton : Homer, I'm your guardian angel. I've assumed the form of someone you'd recognize and revere: Sir Isaac Newton.
Homer : Sir Isa-who?
Homer's Guardian Angel as Isaac Newton : [Transforming himself] Oh, very well.
Homer : [gasps] Colonel Klink! Did you ever get my letters?
Homer's Guardian Angel as Colonel Klink : I'm not actually Colonel Klink, I'm just assuming his form.
Homer : Hee, hee, hee! Did you know Hogan had tunnels all over your camp?
Homer's Guardian Angel as Colonel Klink : Homer-r-r! That's not why I'm here.
Homer's Guardian Angel as Colonel Klink : My job is to show you how miserable life would be if you married Mindy instead of Marge.
Homer : [Flying over a mansion] Ooh! I would live in a big mansion?
Mindy Simmons : [Homer and Mindy play tennis while Jeeves looks on] I'm so happy, darling.
Homer : I, as well. Are you happy, Jeeves?
Jeeves : M'yes sir, quite.
Homer : Then we're all happy!
Homer's Guardian Angel as Colonel Klink : Let's get out of here.
Homer's Guardian Angel as Colonel Klink : [Flying over the White House] Sure, life is good for you. But what about Marge?
Homer : [gasps] Marge lives here?
White House Assistant : Madam President, your approval rating is soaring.
Marge Simpson : Hmm...
Homer's Guardian Angel as Colonel Klink : [Homer wakes up back in his body] This dream is over.
Lionel Hutz : Hey, you! Get out of my office!
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[at an energy convention, Homer and Mindy are hosting the "Nuclear Power" booth]
Nuclear Power Heckler #1 : [passing by] Thanks for poisoning the planet, bastards!
Mindy Simmons : Get bent!
Nuclear Power Heckler #2 : [passing by] No more Chernobyls!
Homer : Go to hell!
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Homer : [singing a parody of Barry Manilow's song Mandy] Oh Mindy, you came and you gave without flaking, But I sent you Ben Gay. Oh Andy, you kissed me and stopped me from something, And I -
[Lisa interrupts]
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[Homer is worried about his attraction to Mindy]
Barney Gumble : Your infatuation is based on a physical attraction. Talk to the woman, and you'll realize you have nothing in common.
Homer : [gasps] Barney, that is so insightful! How did you come up with that?
Barney Gumble : It was written on one of these bar napkins.
[He holds up the napkin, which indeed has the entirety of what he said printed on it]
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Waylon Smithers : Simpson, Simmons. You two have been chosen to represent us at the national energy convention. Congratulations! You'll be spending two nights together in glamorous Capital City.
Mindy Simmons : Wow, Capital City! The Windy Apple!
Waylon Smithers : Come on, I'll get you the tickets.
Homer : Oh, this is the worst crisis my marriage has ever faced! Colonel Klink, why have you forsaken me?
Homer's Guardian Angel as Colonel Klink : [Klink materializes] What is it? You have a question?
Homer : Heh heh. Did you know Kinch had a radio in the coffee pot?
Homer's Guardian Angel as Colonel Klink : [Surprised] He did? Mmm!
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Fossil Fuel Man : [At a solar power exhibit of the convention, hosted by Hans Moleman] So, this stuff really works?
Hans Moleman : Certainly does.
Fossil Fuel Man : Oh, well. LOTS OF LUCK!
[knocks Moleman out with a karate chop. The man snaps his fingers and other men dispose of the body and convert the solar power exhibit to a fossil fuel exhibit, complete with the slogan "Fossil Fuel: Use us and nobody gets hurt"]
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Mindy Simmons : [whispering seductively] Homer, I've got a really wicked idea that could get us in a lot of trouble.
Homer : Mindy, we have to fight our temptations.
Mindy Simmons : No. Let's do it. Let's call room service!
