The Simpsons (TV Series)

The Father, the Son, and the Holy Guest Star (2005)

Dan Castellaneta: Homer Simpson, Groundskeeper Willie, Grampa Simpson, Father Sean's Father, Man Playing Croquet

Quotes 

• Marge : [to Bart]  Now we have to find another school for you.

  Homer : And if you get kicked out of that one, you're going straight in the army, where you'll be sent straight to America's latest military quagmire. Where will it be? North Korea? Iran? Anything's possible with Commander Cuckoo-Bananas in charge.

• Marge : Bart, would you like to say grace?

  Bart : Yesum!

  [Bart says grace in Latin] 

  Homer : What the hell was that?

  Lisa : Bart's speaking Latin, the language of Plutarc.

  Homer : [Homer looks blankly]  Micky Mouse's dog?

• Homer : Once you go to the Vatican, you can't go back again!

• Lisa : That's Latin, Dad; the language of Plutarch.

  Homer : Mickey Mouse's dog?

• Homer : [after Homer confesses his sins]  Woohoo! I'm clean! In your face, lord!

  Father Sean : Not quite, Mr. Simpson. I can only absolve you if you're a Catholic.

  Homer : Riiiiight. And how do I join? Do I whale on some Unitarians?

• Homer Simpson : Shouldn't a person have the right to choose his own religion?

  Lisa : As strange as it seems, Dad, I agree.

  Homer Simpson : What?

  Lisa : Well, as you well know, I'm a fully pledged Buddhist.

  Father Sean : [laughs]  Buddhist? Well, I suppose some children have imaginary friends...

  Lisa : I'll pretend I didn't hear that.

• Homer : Bart, I can't believe you got expelled! Well, don't expect to spend all week lying around on the couch like a bum, 'cause that's MY thing!