The Simpsons (TV Series)

The Father, the Son, and the Holy Guest Star (2005)

Liam Neeson: Father Sean, St. Peter

Quotes 

• Father Sean : [recalling what St. Peter said to him]  Sean, you wanker, repent of your wicked ways or sod off.

• Homer : [after Homer confesses his sins]  Woohoo! I'm clean! In your face, lord!

  Father Sean : Not quite, Mr. Simpson. I can only absolve you if you're a Catholic.

  Homer : Riiiiight. And how do I join? Do I whale on some Unitarians?

• Homer Simpson : Shouldn't a person have the right to choose his own religion?

  Lisa : As strange as it seems, Dad, I agree.

  Homer Simpson : What?

  Lisa : Well, as you well know, I'm a fully pledged Buddhist.

  Father Sean : [laughs]  Buddhist? Well, I suppose some children have imaginary friends...

  Lisa : I'll pretend I didn't hear that.

• Father Sean : We can't lose Bart now that we're so close. If I do, I'll be the worst priest ever! Well, except for... you know.

  [long, awkward pause. Homer coughs uncomfortably]