The Simpsons (TV Series)

The Day the Violence Died (1996)

Jack Sheldon: The Amendment

Quotes 

• Krusty : Well, Itchy & Scratchy are gone. But here's a cartoon that tried to make learning fun! Sorry about this, kids. But stay tuned! We've got some real good toy commercials coming right up, I swear.

  Kid : Hey, who left all this garbage on the steps of Congress?

  The Amendment : I'm not garbage.

  [singing] 

  The Amendment : I'm an Amendment to be, yes an Amendment to be, and I'm hoping that they'll ratify me. There's a lot of flag burners who have got too much freedom. I wanna make it legal for policeman to beat'em, cause there's limits to our liberty, least I hope and prey that there are, 'cause those liberal freaks go too far!

  Kid : Why can't we just make a law against flag burning?

  The Amendment : Because that law would be unconstitutional. But if we change the Constitution...

  Kid : Then we can make all sorts of crazy laws!

  The Amendment : Now you're catching on!

  Bart Simpson : What the hell is this?

  Lisa Simpson : It's one of those campy 70s throwbacks that appeals to Generation X-ers.

  Bart Simpson : We need another Vietnam to thin out their ranks a little.

  Kid : What if people say you're not good enough to be in the Constitution?

  The Amendment : Then I'll crush all opposition to me, and I'll make Ted Kennedy pay, if he fights back, I'll say that he's gay!