The Simpsons (TV Series)
Take My Wife, Sleaze (1999)
Henry Winkler: Ramrod
Photos
Quotes
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[Meathook punches eggs into a toaster]
Marge Simpson : Stop that! If you want some food, I'll be happy to make you some breakfast.
Meathook : I'd kill for some waffles!
Ramrod : He has... Remember that IHOP in Oakland?
[both guys laugh hysterically]
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Meathook : Alright Satans, we roll out at dawn.
Marge Simpson : Where are we going?
Meathook : To the Biker's Jamboree in South Dakota. You'll love it. Mickey Rourke is comin' and we're gonna jump him.
Marge Simpson : You know, there's more to life than boozing and roughhousing.
[entire gang looks around at each other, confused]
Marge Simpson : Haven't any of you had a dream?
Ramrod : Yeah, I had a dream! I was in this beautiful garden... pounding the crap out of a shopkeeper. Then...
Marge Simpson : Noo! I mean the dream of a good job, a loving family, and a home in the suburbs.
Meathook : Aww man, to get all that you'd have to kill live fifty people!
Marge Simpson : Noooo, you don't have to kill anyone! Not if you have jobs. And the first step is an eye-catching resume.
Ramrod : Nah, actually it's called résumé.
Meathook : Actually, both are acceptable.
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Marge Simpson : And when you get a job interview, try not to call your employer a punk or a skank.
Meathook : Makes sense.
Ramrod : Ooh, *don't* call him skank.
Meathook : Mrs. Simpson, I killed my pencil.
Marge Simpson : Broke. You *broke* your pencil.
Meathook : I... broke him.
Marge Simpson : That's right. And what else have we learned?
Ramrod : Oh oh, that violence is wrong.
Marge Simpson : Excellent, Ramrod. Civilized people solve their disputes with words.
[Homer jumps in screaming and punching]
Marge Simpson : Stop! You don't understand!
[Homer continues, attacking, punching, and throwing people]
Meathook : Marge, what do we do here? Marge, he's using violence.
Marge Simpson : Talk to him. Use your words.
Meathook : Homer... Homer... stop. We've given up our violent ways. We just wanna live peacefully... with your wife.
Homer Simpson : No! My wife is not a dooby... to be passed around! I took a sacred vow on my wedding day to bogart her forever.
Marge Simpson : Oooooh, Homey.
Meathook : There's only one reasonable way to settle this... you and me, in the circle of death.
Marge Simpson : Ooooh, I just swept the circle of death.