The Simpsons (TV Series)

Sideshow Bob Roberts (1994)

Nancy Cartwright: Bart Simpson, Ralph Wiggum, Kearney

Quotes 

• Sideshow Bob : I did it! I did it all! There! Is that what you want, you smarmy, little bastards?

  Bart : We want the truth!

  Sideshow Bob : You want the truth? You can't handle the truth. No truth-handler, you. Bah! I deride your truth-handling abilities!

• Bart : Oh my God! The dead have risen and are voting Republican.

• Bart : Bart, your mortal enemy's on the radio!

  [Bart turns on the radio] 

  Dr. Demento : It's time for more deeeeeeee-mentia, with Dr. Demento! And now, the funny five!

  [Bart yells and throws the radio out the window] 

  Lisa : I meant your other mortal enemy, Sideshow Bob.

  Bart : Sideshow Bob? Oh, I'm only ten and I already got two mortal enemies!

• [walking around the cemetary, Lisa and Bart realize that Sideshoe Bob has falsified voting returns with the names of deceased persons] 

  Lisa : [sees Snowball I's gravestone]  Oh, my poor dead kitty, not you too!

  [she looks at the voting list: "SNOWBALL I."] 

  Lisa : All right, Bob! NOW it's personal!

  Bart : Hey! Uh, he did try to kill me.

• [after Bob is arrested] 

  Lisa : Congratulations, Bart! You get to go back to the fourth grade!

  Bart : [disappointed]  Oh... tomorrow we were gonna find out who the dish ran away with.

  Lisa : The spoon, Bart.

  Bart : [gasps]  Of course!

• Lisa : Bart, we can't let Bob steal the spotlight like this. We're gonna have to stoop to the lowest common denominator.

  Bart : I can do that.

• [after Bob's election] 

  Principal Skinner : Bart, by special order of the Mayor's office, you're being held back.

  Bart : Oh, I have to repeat the fourth grade?

  Principal Skinner : Yes, but not for four or five years. Bart, you're going to kindergarten.

  Bart : Kindergarten?

  Mrs. Krabappel : [pops champagne]  Ha!

• Birchibald T. Barlow : [listening to Sideshow Bob's imprisonment story]  Well, my friends, isn't this just typical? Another intelligent conservative railroaded by our liberal justice system. Just like...

  [pulls out a list] 

  Birchibald T. Barlow : Colonel Oliver North, Officer Stacey Koon and cartoon spokesperson Joe Camel. Well, I've had it! I'm gonna make it my mission to see that our friend Bob is set free!

  Bart : [listening to Barlow on the radio]  NOOOOO!

  Mrs. Krabappel : [offended by Bart's yell]  Well! Despite Bart's objections, the people of South Africa can now vote in free democratic elections.