The Simpsons (TV Series)

Separate Vocations (1992)

Yeardley Smith: Lisa Simpson

Photos 

Quotes 

• Janey : Well, that was a waste of time.

  Lisa : Janey, school is never a waste of time.

  Elizabeth Hoover : Class, since we have fifteen minutes until recess, please put your pencils down and stare at the front of the room.

• Marge : Morning, honey.

  Lisa : [sullen]  What's so good about being stuck in the house behind a stove?

  Marge : Lisa, I know you're down on homemaking but it can really let you be creative. See? This morning I turned bacon, eggs, and toast into a smiley face for Bart and Homer.

  Lisa : What's the point? They'll never notice.

  Marge : Oh, well, you'd be surprised.

  [Homer and Bart sit at the kitchen table and begin scarfing their plates without a word or glance at Marge. Lisa gives Marge a look] 

  Marge : Mmm...

  [Homer belches] 

• Lisa : Come on, Bart! In your pre-fascist days you knew the thrill of futile rebellion.

• Lisa : Bart, why did you take the blame?

  Bart Simpson : Because I didn't want you to wreck your life. You got the brains and the talent to go as far as you want. And when you do, I'll be right there to borrow money.

• Marge : [referencing Lisa playing the saxaphone]  Do you think she could be a professional someday?

  Li'l Ludwig's Music School Teacher : Oh lord no!

  Lisa : But I'll practice every day!

  Li'l Ludwig's Music School Teacher : Yeah well I'll be frank with ya Lisa and when I say frank I mean, you know, devastating. You've inherited a finger condition known as stubbiness, it usually comes from the father's side...

• Lisa : [Lisa's just discovered her future vocation after a career aptitude test.]  A homemaker! I might as well be dead!

  Marge : Lisa, it's not that bad.

  Homer : So, what are you gonna be, boy?

  Bart Simpson : Policeman.

  Homer : [Chokes on food.] 

  Marge : Oh, that's nice, Bart. You know, your father wanted to be a policeman for a little while, but they said he was too heavy.

  Homer : No, the army said I was too heavy. The police said I was too dumb.

• Miss Hoover : Lisa, you're not sprinkling your sparkles.

  Lisa : Shove it.

• Miss Hoover : Lisa, what nineteenth-century figure was nick-named "Old Hickory"?

  Lisa : I don't know... you?

  Miss Hoover : Lisa, if you'd bothered to do the assignment, you'd know the answer is...

  [flips to the answers in the back of her teacher's edition study book] 

  Miss Hoover : The Battle of New Orleans. I mean, Andrew Jackson.

  Lisa : Well, you're earning your eighteen grand a year.