- Total Disaster Insurance Man: Now, before I give you the check, one more question: ah, this place Moe's you left right before the accident, this is this a business of some kind?
- Homer's Mind: Don't tell him you were at a bar!
- [gasps]
- Homer's Mind: But what else is open at night?
- Homer: It's a pornography store. I was buying pornography.
- Homer's Mind: Heh, heh, heh. I would never have thought of that.
- Lisa Simpson: [During Mr. Plow Commercial] But I'm a real tight wad. Can I afford this remarkable system?
- Homer: Absolutely. My prices are so low, you'll think I've suffered brain damage.
- Bart Simpson: You are fully bonded and licensed by the city, aren't you Mr. Plow?
- Homer: [Under Breath] Shut up boy.
- Linda Ronstadt: [singing] When the snow starts a fallin', there's a man you should be callin'. That's KLD-796. Let it ring.
- Linda Ronstadt, Barney: Mr Plow is a loser, and I think he is a boozer, so you'd better make that call to the Plow King.
- Homer: [answers the phone] Mr. Plow, that name again is Mr. Plow.
- Kumatsu Motors Man: Hello, I'm calling from Delinquent Accounts at Kumatsu Motors.
- Homer: Oh, you want the Mr. Plow who plows driveways. This is Tony Plow, you know, from "Leave It To Beaver".
- [pause]
- Homer: Yeah, they were gay.
- Homer: Huh - the Batmobile! Huh - Adam West! Hey kids! Batman!
- Lisa Simpson: Dad, that's not the real Batman.
- Adam West: Of course I'm Batman. See? Here's a picture of me with Robin.
- Bart Simpson: Who the hell is Robin?
- Adam West: Oh, I guess you're only familiar with the new Batman movies. Michelle Pfeiffer? Ha. The only true Catwoman is Julie Newmar, Lee Meriwether or Eartha Kitt. And I didn't need plastic molded to improve my physique. Pure West. And how come Batman doesn't dance anymore? Remember the Batusi?
- [dances]
- Homer: [disturbed] It is nice meeting ya.
- [to Bart and Lisa]
- Homer: Just keep movin', don't make eye contact.
- Homer: If you're going to get mad at me every time I do something stupid, then I guess I'll just have to stop doing stupid things.
- [while visiting 'Crazy Vlaclav's Place of Automobiles' for a possible new car, Homer is sitting in a tiny three-wheeler with a fly emblem]
- Crazy Vaclav: She'll go 300 hectares on a single tank of kerosene.
- [Homer fiddles with the gears, which are indicated by several Cyrillic letters, including "H", meaning neutral]
- Homer: What country is this car from?
- Crazy Vaclav: It no longer exists, but take her for a test drive, and you'll agree: 'Zagreb ebnom Zlotdik diev'!
- [as Homer struggles to start the car, Vaclav gives it a push]
- Crazy Vaclav: Put it in H!
- Troy McClure: I'm your host, Troy McClure. You may remember me from such films as: "The Erotic Adventures of Hercules" and "Dial M for Murderousness"!
- Homer: Lenny and Carl suck. Oh, don't tell them I said that Marge, because if I ever lost them as friends...
- Homer: Hello, I'm Mr. Plow! Are you tired of having your hands cut off by snowblowers, and the inevitable heart attacks that come with shoveling snow? Then call KLondike 5-3226. Call now, and receive a free t-shirt!
- [cut to Homer watching the ad holding a "Mondale for Veep" shirt]
- Homer: He might still surprise ya!
- Barney: Oh dyings not so bad ill be reunited with my loved ones my father and that plant I never watered.