The Simpsons (TV Series)
Lisa's Substitute (1991)
Dustin Hoffman: Mr. Bergstrom
Photos
Quotes
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Principal Skinner : Are you the substitute?
Mr. Bergstrom : Yessir, yes I aim.
Principal Skinner : Are you insane?
Mr. Bergstrom : [lowers voice] Uh, no sir, no I'm not. It's my way of getting their attention.
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Mr. Bergstrom : Mrs. Krabappel, are you trying to seduce me?
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Mr. Bergstrom : Actually, mister Simpson, they do know a great deal about the process of mummification. First they pull the brain out through the nose with an iron hook and stuff the insides with sawdust and onions.
Lisa Simpson : Eww, gross!
Homer : Ooh, pretty creepy. Still, I'd rather have him chasing me than the Wolf Man.
Lisa Simpson : Oh, Lord...
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Mr. Bergstrom : And for the record, there were a few Jewish cowboys. Big guys, who were great shots, and spent money freely.