- Krusty the Clown: [while recording talking doll voices] One. Hey hey, kids, I'm talking Krusty. Two. Hey hey, kids. Here comes Slideshow Mel, I mean, Sideshow Mel. Four.
- [laughs]
- Krusty the Clown: Bada bing, bada boom. I'm done. Learn from the professionals, kid.
- [leaves]
- Technician: Uh... we're ready to roll, Krusty. Krusty?
- Lisa: It's awful being a kid; no one listens to you.
- Grampa Simpson: It's rotten being old; no one listens to ya!
- Homer Simpson: I'm a white male, age 18 to 49. Everyone listens to me-no matter how dumb my suggestions are.
- Can Of Nuts: Nuts and gum: together at last!
- Montgomery Burns: [Shirtless, as Smithers's screen saver] Hello, Smithers. You're quite good at turning me on.
- Waylon Smithers: [to Lisa] Um... you probably should ignore that.
- Lisa: They cannot keep making dolls like this! Something has to be done!
- Marge: [after a long pause] Lisa, ordinarily I'd say you should stand up for what you believe in. But you've been doing that an awful lot lately!
- Bart Simpson: Yeah! You made us march in that gay rights parade!
- Homer Simpson: And we can't watch Fox because they own those chemical weapons factories in Syria.
- Lisa: Millions of girls will grow up thinking that this is the right way to act.
- [Breathlessly]
- Lisa: That they can never be anything more than vacuous ninnies, whose only goal is to look pretty, land a rich husband, and spend all day on the phone with their equally vacuous friends, talking about how damn terrific it is to look pretty and have a rich husband!
- Bart Simpson: Just what I was gonna say.
- Lisa: [Screams and throws the doll out the window]
- Lisa: Don't you see what's wrong with what Malibu Stacy says?
- Celeste: There's something wrong with what my Stacy says.
- [the girl pulls the string to reveal Spider-Man's voice]
- Malibu Stacy Voice: My Spidey Sense is tingling. Anybody call for a web-slinger?
- Lisa: I can believe you're just going to let your daughter live in a world where this... THIS is their role-model.
- Marge: I had a Malibu Stacy doll when I was little and I turned out all right. Now let's forget our troubles with a big bowl of strawberry ice cream.
- Malibu Stacy: [Lisa pulls on Malibu Stacy's string] Now let's forget our troubles with a big bowl of strawberry ice cream.
- [Marge murmurs]
- Lisa: That's it I'm calling the company.
- [while making the doll for Lisa]
- Lisa: Don't forget to get my mom's hair just right.
- Stacy Lavelle: I think we'll use someone else for the hair.
- Lisa: [pointing to her head] How about me?
- Stacy Lavelle: Well...
- Bart Simpson: [pointing to his head] How about me?
- Stacy Lavelle: Oh...
- Homer Simpson: [pointing to his head] How about me?
- Stacy Lavelle: YOU ALL HAVE HIDEOUS HAIR!
- [everyone gasps]
- Stacy Lavelle: I mean from a design point of view.
- [everyone approves in agreement]
- Lisa: Excuse me, Miss Lavelle? I'd like to talk to you about Malibu Stacy?
- Stacy Lavelle: You have any idea how many kids have tried to track me down?
- Lisa: Am I the first?
- Stacy Lavelle: ...Yes.