The Simpsons (TV Series)
Lisa the Vegetarian (1995)
Nancy Cartwright: Bart Simpson, Ralph Wiggum, Jimmy, Ham
Quotes
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Homer : Marge? Since I'm not talking to Lisa, would you please ask her to pass me the syrup?
Marge : Dear, please pass your father the syrup, Lisa.
Lisa : Bart, tell Dad I will only pass the syrup if it won't be used on any meat product.
Bart : You dunkin' your sausages in that syrup homeboy?
Homer : Marge, tell Bart I just want to drink a nice glass of syrup like I do every morning.
Marge : Tell him yourself, you're ignoring Lisa, not Bart.
Homer : Bart, thank your mother for pointing that out.
Marge : Homer, you're not not-talking to me and secondly I heard what you said.
Homer : Lisa, tell your mother to get off my case.
Bart : Uhhh, dad, Lisa's the one you're not talking to.
Homer : Bart, go to your room.
Lisa : Why don't you just eat him, Dad?
Homer : I don't need any serving suggestions from you! You barbeque-wrecking, know-nothing know-it-all!
Lisa : That's IT! I can't live in a house with this prehistoric carnivore. I am out of here!
[leaves and slams the door]
Homer : That's it! Go to your room!
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[Homer and Bart are chasing the rolling rotisserie pig. It rolls through some bushes]
Homer : It's just a little dirty! It's still good, it's still good!
[the cart falls off the edge of a drainage culvert, and the pig floats down the stream]
Homer : It's just a little slimy! It's still good, it's still good!
[the pig reaches a dam at the end of the stream and plugs the drain hole. The water pressure builds up behind it, until it launches out of the hole into the air]
Homer : It's just a little airborne! It's still good, it's still good!
Bart : It's gone.
Homer : I know.
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Lisa : I never realized before, but some Itchy & Scratchy cartoons send the message that violence against animals is funny.
Bart : They what? Cartoons don't have messages, Lisa.
[moves toward door]
Bart : They're just a bunch of hilarious stuff you know, like people getting hurt and stuff, stuff like that.
[Bart gets slammed behind the door by Homer]
Homer : Look kids! I just got my party invitiations back from the printers.
Lisa : [reading the invitation] "Come to Homer's BBBQ. The extra B is for BYOBB."
Bart : What's that extra B for?
Homer : It's a typo.
Lisa : Dad! Can't you have some other type of party, one where you don't serve meat?
Homer : All normal people love meat. If I went to a barbeque and there was no meat, I would say 'Yo Goober! Where's the meat?'. I'm trying to impress people here, Lisa. You don't win friends with salad.
Bart : [musically] You don't win friends with salad! You don't win friends with salad! You don't win friends with salad!
Bart , Homer : You don't win friends with salad! You don't win friends with salad! You don't win friends with salad!
Bart , Homer , Marge : You don't win friends with salad! You don't win friends with salad! You don't win friends with salad!
Lisa : Mom!
Marge : I don't mean to take sides, I just got caught up in the rhythm.
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[Homer is scanning the sky with binoculars, looking for his pig]
Bart : Give it up, Dad. Piggy ain't coming back.
[Homer growls and throws the binoculars into the garbage]
Homer : Lisa! You ruined my barbeque! I demand you apologize this second!
Lisa : I'm never ever apologizing because I was standing up for a just cause and you were wrong, wrong, wrong! Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to my room!
Homer : That's it! Go to your room!
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Ralph Wiggum : When I grow up, I'm going to Bovine University!
