The Simpsons (TV Series)

Homie the Clown (1995)

Hank Azaria: Texan Clown Student #1, New Hampshirian Clown Student, Krusty Burger Representetive, Kirk Van Houten, Carl, Chief Wiggum, Apu Nahasapeemapetilon, Luigi, Legs, Car Salesman, Don Vittorio Di Maggio

Quotes 

• Homer : But wait. You can't kill me for being Krusty. I'm not him. I'm Homer Simpson.

  Fat Tony : The same Homer Simpson who crashed his car through the wall of our club?

  Homer : Uh... actually my name is Barney. Yeah, Barney Gumble.

  Legs : The same Barney Gumble who keeps taking pictures of my sister?

  Homer : Uh... actually my real name is uh... think Krusty, think... Joe Valachi!

  Louie : The same Joe Valachi who squealed to the Senate Committee about organized crime?

  Homer : Benedict Arnold!

  Legs : The same Benedict Arnold who plotted to surrender West Point to the hated British?

  Homer : D'oh!

• [last lines] 

  Krusty the Clown : So, we're even now, right?

  Don Vittorio Di Maggio : No, we just-a won't kill you. But, you still owe use the money...

  [dramatic pause] 

  Don Vittorio Di Maggio : $48!

  Krusty the Clown : Here's 50.

  Don Vittorio Di Maggio : And two your change. And-a we thank-a you.

• Krusty the Clown : Tell me where you're from.

  Clown Student 1# : Georgia.

  Clown Student 2# : Texas.

  Clown Student 3# : Uh... Brooklyn.

  Clown Student 4# : Russia.

  Clown Student 5# : New Hampshire.

  Homer : Homer.

• Don Vittorio Di Maggio : Grazie, grazie. You have brought great joy to this old Italian stereotype.

• Child : [the kids cheer and applaud as Estonian Dwarf, dressed like a cartoony burglar, appears]  It's the Krusty Burglar!

  Homer : [as the KB tries to steal one of the giant prop burgers, Homer takes notice; gasps]  Oh my God, he's stealing all the burgers! Why you little... !

  [he tackles Estonian Dwarf, slamming him against the pavement and punching him] 

  Krusty Burger Representative : [tries unsuccessfully to break them up]  It's... it's... all just... just... just an act.

  Child : [the children watch, horrified]  Stop! Sto-ho-ho-hop, he's already dead!

  Krusty Burger Representative : [Krusty Burger employees pull Homer away, as Estonian Dwarf lays on the ground prostrate]  Uh... Krusty the Clown, everybody!

  [the children still look on in horror, as one or two clap uncomfortably] 

  Estonian Dwarf : [weakly]  Please look at my Medic-Alert bracelet. Ohhhh.

• Legs : [staring at Krusty and Homer in disbelief]  I'm seein' double here. FOUR Krustys!