The Simpsons (TV Series)
Homer's Barbershop Quartet (1993)
Harry Shearer: Couch Gag Director, Ned Flanders, Principal Skinner, Herman, Reverand Lovejoy, Nigel, Jasper, Paul Harvey, Ronald Reagan, Johnny Carson
Photos
Quotes
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[the "Baby on Board" lyrics]
Homer , Apu , Principal Skinner , Barney : Baby on Board/How I've adored/That sign on my car's window pane/The bounce in my step/loaded with pep/'cause I'm driving in the carpool lane/Call me a square/Friend, I don't care/That little yellow sign can't be ignored/I'm telling you, it's mighty nice/Each trip's a trip to paradise/With my baby on board!
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Bart : Oh boy! Free trading cards!
Milhouse Van Houten : Wow! Joseph of Arimathea! Twenty six conversions in A.D. 46.
Nelson Muntz : Whoa. A Methuselah rookie card!
Ned Flanders : Heh heh. Well, boys, who'd have thought learning about religion could be fun?
Bart : Religion?
Milhouse Van Houten : Learning?
Nelson Muntz : Let's get out of here!
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Reporter #3 : Principal Skinner, you've been referred to as "the funny one." Is that reputation justified?
Principal Skinner : [deadpan] Yes. Yes, it is.
[laughter]
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Principal Skinner : Only one question remains, gentlemen. What do we call ourselves?
Nigel : How about... Handsome Homer Simpson Plus Three?
Barney : I like it!
Principal Skinner : Uh...
Apu : Wait, I do not.
Principal Skinner : No, we need a name that's witty at first, but that seems less funny each time you hear it.
Apu : How about the Be Sharps?
Principal Skinner : [they all laugh] Perfect.
Homer : The Be Sharps.
Principal Skinner : The Be Sharps.
Barney , Apu , Nigel : [putting their hands together] The Be Sharps.
Chief Wiggum : The Be Sharps.
[they all glower at him]
Chief Wiggum : Ha, ha, ha. Heh, heh, Well, you can't blame a guy for trying. Heh, heh... heh. Aw, you're all under arrest.
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Homer : It was one lousy applicant after another. And then...
Barney : [from the bathroom in Moe's] Over in Killarney/So many years ago...
Apu : Such a voice.
Principal Skinner : Who is that?
Barney : Me mother sang this song to me/In tones so soft and...
[he belches]
Homer , Principal Skinner , Apu : Barney!
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Homer : [after hearing "Baby On Board" could be a hit] Wait'll I tell Marge.
Nigel : Oh, yes. Bouffant Betty. Well, I would prefer we kept your marriage a secret. You see, a lot of women are going to want to have sex with you, and, uh, we want them to think they can.
Homer : Well, if I explain it to Marge that way, I'm sure she'll understand.
[at the house, Marge cries into her pillow]
Homer : [trying to comfort her] Come on, honey. It'll only be 'til we finish our tour of Sweden.
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Moe Szyslak : Hey, those girls you paid to scream are doing a great job.
Nigel : I didn't pay any girls to scream.
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Nigel : Homer, I'm a theatrical agent. And I want to represent your group.
Homer : Really?
Nigel : Yeah. You've got "it". All except that police officer. Yech! Too Village People. You have to replace him.
Homer : Just leave it to me.
Chief Wiggum : [later, in Homer's car, sticking his head out the window like a dog] Where are we goin'? Where are we goin'?
Homer : [stopping and opening the door] Run along, boy. You're free now!
Chief Wiggum : [as he gets out, Homer speeds away] No! No!
[baying like a wolf to the full moon]
Chief Wiggum : Nooooo!
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Ned Flanders : [as the Be Sharps perform at church] You know, Reverend, this really isn't a hymn.
Reverand Lovejoy : Ned, there's an oil stain in the parking lot that looks just like St. Barnabas.
Ned Flanders : [gasp] Oh, my stars!
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Nigel : Gentlemen, you've just recorded your first number one.
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[as the Be-Sharps re-unite]
Principal Skinner : I can't remember the last time we were all together.
Apu : Last year, on that stupid Dame Edna special.
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Paul Harvey : ...and that little boy who nobody liked grew up to be... Roy Cohn!
Abe Simpson , Jasper : Wow!
